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Mass Effect 3: Leviathan DLC Story Revealed! (We’re Lying! It’s A Joke!)

Mass Effect 3: Leviathan DLC Story Revealed! (We’re Lying! It’s A Joke!)

She's all about the Leviathan, yesterday.

Mass Effect 3 is to get single-player DLC, thank crikey, in the shape of Mass Effect 3: Levitathan.

It’s been rumoured for a while – people did some digging and poking and found out it exists, basically – but now it’s been confirmed. What will it add? Weapons, upgrades, new story elements, the sort of stuff you’d expect from DLC. But no real meaty details have emerged just yet.

As such, it’s up to us to come up with our own storyline and explain to y’all what’s going to happen in Mass Effect 3: Leviathan. It’s Friday, why not?

Following an extended period dancing like a weird bastard in Purgatory, Shepard makes her way back to the Normany. Along the way she stops off at all manner of items and people she’s stopped off at three dozen times before – just in case they say something new or there’s an XP bonus to be had for finding some little snippet or item or something.

Anyway, Shepard gets back to the Normany and is stopped at the door by Joker, who has a wry smile on his face. This is explained away as ‘he is Joker and is therefore a joker and is therefore smiling’. It is not a pertinent plot point.

Shepard then visits the Galaxy Map initially just to listen to the music, but then ends up spending 46 minutes flying the cute little approximation of the Normandy around systems she’s been in three thousand times before, just because why not. A bit (a lot) of scanning later and, exhausted from a day’s hard work, she retires to her quarters.

Where she doesn’t sleep, because there’s no option to sleep. Let’s explain it as a future-thing.

Oh, and there’s probably something with a Reaper called Leviathan too. We’d guess he’s massive if that’s his name. Unless he’s tiny in a hilarious flip-reversal.

And that will be Mass Effect 3: Leviathan. Good day.

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