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What We Want In 2012

What We Want In 2012

Welcome back everyone! Yay! Our enthusiasm is a massive lie because it’s raining outside, we’re back at work and life’s strange when you’re not getting up at 5pm anymore and debating whether it’s actually worth getting up at all or just sleeping through to the next morning 5pm the next day and having the same should-I-shouldn’t-I argument with yourself again.

Ahhhh, such is life after the Christmas holidays.

But anyway, enough of the chatter. 2012 awaits with 12 months of announcements, revelations, genuine surprises and surprises ruined by a timely leak the week before the announcement. Here’s a quick list of what we want to see in 2012:

PS Vita Domination

Will it happen? We don’t know. We’re writers, not magicians. Portable gaming has forever been knocked off its comfortable perch thanks to smartphone gaming becoming accessible and cheap, so it’ll be interesting to see where PS Vita fits into the brave new world of shrunken gaming.

But this is what we want to see happen. And PS Vita is such a sexy, sleek little thing – there’s honestly never been anything that has felt so right in your hands before (no dirty jokes please) – that it deserves to succeed.

And Uncharted on the move? Yes bloody please.

(Note: We said Uncharted on the move, not Uncharted on the Move. That would be quite horrible.)

BioShock Infinite Being Good

One trend in 2011 that annoyed us was the FPS genre has been largely written off as home of the herp-derp military shooter. Mostly because last year was COD, COD, COD, COD, COD, COD and some Battlefield 3 if you were part of the anti-COD crowd. Or maybe neither if you stopped caring about military shooters altogether.

But there’s more to the genre than military shooters. Deus Ex: Human Revolution proved FPS games can be subtly smart as well as simply stupid before the military onslaught of Modern Warfare 3 and Battlefield 3 buried it beneath the sound of explosions and gunfire.

Our fingers are crossed that BioShock Infinite continues Deus Ex: Human Revolution’s work in showing FPS games are capable of much more than what they tend to default to. More importantly, we hope that BioShock Infinite is a game that’s good enough that we can demand everyone – gamers, developers, publishers – pay attention to it. The FPS genre is more than a conduit to military multiplayer. We just need more proof.

Duke Nukem Forever Sequel

No, seriously. Stop laughing. This is a genuine declaration for something we genuinely want, even if the image to the left reminds us how crass… well anyway, look, hear us out.

Duke Nukem Forever was awful but then we presume any game that had been chewed up for 15 years by the mouths of different developers before finally being spat onto the shelves would be. It was a bizarre patchwork of outdated ideas, crusty gameplay and horrible writing, fascinating to play through to see where different parts had been valiantly stitched together by Gearbox but impossible to enjoy.

Yet the Doctor Who Cloned Me DLC, while still tethered to the frankenstein FPS that Duke Nukem Forever had become, showed promise. The writing was infinitely better, the ideas had purpose and while it started off slow, it built momentum to a strong finish.

Now imagine Gearbox doing a Duke Nukem game from scratch. Without being tethered to a 100-year-old game engine, or saddled with out-of-date ideas, or anything like that. Imagine a Duke Nukem game where they create every single asset.

Gearbox holds the Duke Nukem license and clearly doesn’t mind working on 50 million games at the same time (well, three: Aliens: Colonial Marines, Brothers In Arms: Furious 4 and Borderlands 2). While it’s unlikely we’ll see a new Duke Nukem announced this year, it’s definitely something we’d love to see happen.

No sarcasm. Honestly.

Resident Evil 6 Going Back To Its Roots

Before you throw eggs at us, we don’t like using ‘going back to its roots’ anymore than you like reading it. It’s one of those dirty what-does-it-actually-mean phrases that slapped on gaming press releases by bored marketing departments when they’ve got space to fill. It’s not quite as loathesome as ‘built from the ground up’ (as opposed to what?) or ‘listened to feedback from the community’ (translated: read a forum) but still, we apologise.

In this case, it’s the only succinct way to describe the direction we want the inevitable Resident Evil 6 to head in. The original Resident Evil was built on uncomfortable tension, juggling limited save slots and scarce ammo as you tried to pick your way through the horrors of a mansion. The recent Resident Evil 5 hands you rocket launchers, mines, grenades and an AI companion to steal your herbs. It was about as close to the original as Transformers is to Dawn of the Dead.

Resident Evil 4 gets a pass mostly because it got the pacing right and the gothic setting felt a lot creepier and desolate than Resident Evil 5’s bright outdoors but even so, it would be great to see Resident Evil 6 embrace the horror roots that made the series popular to begin with. We don’t need the turning-like-an-oil-tanker controls back – just the fear.

Shenmue III

Ahahahaha. Hahahaha. Haha. Ha.

It’ll never happen. Sega doesn’t make these kind of games anymore and original creator Yu Suzuki is meditating in the Himalayas or doing whatever it is he’s doing right now, so the chances of this happening are 0.00000001%

But that means, technically, there’s still a chance! So, you know. Stop being so pessimistic.



  • Ian Dransfield

    Here’s a game for the internet: tell Ryan how crappy Shenmue 2 is then watch as his head LITERALLY explodes.

  • “And Uncharted on the move? Yes bloody please”

    I misread that as Uncharted: The Movie