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Five completely fitting videogame roles for actors (or not)

Lara Croft – played by Robert De Niro
It takes a lot of world experience and charisma to play a role like that of Lara Croft. We think Robert De Niro, with his wry smile and impressive body of work, could bring something fresh and unique to the role. Also, we think he’d look great in a tank top and pair of cut-off khakis.

Pyramid Head – played by Dakota Fanning
Pyramid Head played by a frightening, muscle-bound bodybuilder? That’s far too predictable. We say take it in the complete opposite direction. Little girls are scary, right? The Ring says so. Just stick a big triangle on Dakota Fanning’s head and we have the next Freddy Krueger. Terrifying.

Street Fighter’s Rufus – played by Adrien Brody
Ok, obviously he’d have to put on a little bit of weight to play the role, but that’s what actors do these days, right? Extreme body modification? Brody lost all that weight for The Pianist, surely he’ll be ok putting on twice that amount and then some to portray a Street Fighter character? If not then he’s not a proper actor. (By the way, if you haven’t seen this, then it’s important that you do so right away).

The First Colossus in Shadow Of The Colossus – played by Gary Busey
Apparently the Shadow Of The Colossus movie is still in development, and is actually going to happen. They’re probably going to do a horrible job of it anyway, so why not just throw caution to the wind and cast Busey as the first colossus ? Just imagine how terrifying that would be – a 100 ft Busey, towering over you moaning and groaning. I hate myself for writing that.

The Prince from Prince Of Persia – played by Jake Gyllenhaal
Oh, wait…

Disclaimer: We have no real problem with Mark Wahlberg. He’s capable of actually good acting, as evidenced in both The Departed and The Other Guys. But still. Mark Wahlberg? Nathan Drake? Come on now. Have you seen Max Payne?




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  • Garan

    I still think Matt Damon should be Nathan Drake.

  • Sean

    I just think that making an uncharted movie is a bad idea in the first place. Mark Wahlberg as Nathan Drake? Because Max Payne was brilliant wasn’t it, what are they thinking.