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Thor The Game – Why?

Thor The Game – Why?

Thor can fly.

You’ll know that if you’ve seen the recent film, where Thor can fly. Or maybe if you’ve read any of the comics, where Thor can fly. Or if you’ve played Marvel vs Capcom 3 (Thor can fly), Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 (Thor can fly) or even Marvel Ultimate Alliance 1 (Thor can fly). The point is, in case you hadn’t noticed by now, is that Thor can fly.

Fortunately, Liquid Entertainment remembered this when they made Thor: God of Thunder. That’s why they definitely didn’t put in small gaps that Thor has to leap across, because that would be a stupid thing to do when Thor can fly. It’s also why if they were somehow stupid enough to put small gaps in for Thor to leap across, they definitely wouldn’t be stupid enough to have Thor lose health if fell down them because, as we all know, Thor can fly. It’s also why they didn’t include any leap-up-these-annoying-ledges sections, a small air-dash where Thor remains airborne for less than a second and levels connected by bridges you are forced to walk across. All of those things would be daft because – let’s say it together now – Thor can fly.

Oh, hang on. Wait. They did all of those things.

Oh.

Let’s get one thing out the way first of all – the game is terrible. No real surprises there as an awful game adaptation of a film is hardly a novel crime, especially with the likes of Iron Man 2 and Terminator Salvation stinking up the shelves of HMV. Even so – it’s bad. Really bad. Play will have the full review soon.

Yet the biggest failing here is that it’s not even a proper Thor game. It’s trying to retrofit Thor to the standard movie tie-in template of wander around, beat up these bad guys, jump on those platforms, level up some abilities.

You can almost sympathise with the developers. Thor is one of the most powerful beings in the Marvel universe. You can’t give him a bad guy without also giving us a reason why Thor can’t just fly in Bad Guy’s general direction, smash him on the chin and get home in time for tea.

The movie overcomes this by banishing Thor to earth. The Ultimate Alliance games overcome this by setting everything indoors. Thor: God of Thunder overcomes this by sticking its fingers in its ears and pretending the problem doesn’t exist.

I R ON EARF I HAZ NO POWER NAO

That’s the most annoying thing about Thor: God of Thunder. It would be great to say “well, it sucks but you know, at least you can kind of pretend that you’re Thor.” We can’t even do that. You could be just about anyone who happens to have a cape and a blonde beard, with the game itself only a few lightning strikes away from being a budget cosplay expo. Limiting a man who can fly to jumping around on platforms because, er, you know, JUSTDOITOKAY doesn’t really cut it.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Activision has provided us with two of the biggest surprises this gen. The first was Singularity being quite good after Activision pretended it didn’t exist. The second was X-Men Origins: Wolverine was good and it’s based on a film. And not even a good film.

Watch this:

Look at it. LOOK AT IT. Those three minutes are better than the entire film. Wolverine sets a man on fire, decapitates another, kicks two more to their death and destroys three helicopters. In the film, he thrashes around in water a bit and cries at the moon or something, I don’t remember, the film was piss.

The point is that it’s visceral. It’s exciting. It’s doing something different and it’s you playing as Wolverine, not you playing as a generic superhero running around doing generic superhero things while collecting five tokens to level up your claw powers or get Classic Outfit #2 or whatever.

In fact, buy it. It’s cheap now and it’s exactly what you want from a superhero game based on a film – fun, excessive, light, throwaway and gets out just before you get bored.