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Rafa Benitez sacked: let’s celebrate with games!

Rafa Benitez sacked: let’s celebrate with games!

UPDATE: Maybe not though. Who knows?

As many football fans will now know, Rafael Benitez has apparently been sacked – or is at least in the process of being sacked* – at Inter Milan. As this is such grand, wonderful news at this time of the year, I thought I’d throw out a few suggestions as to what games you can play to celebrate this grand, wonderful news (at this time of the year).

Football Manager PSP
You can approach this one of two ways – start a new game and take control of Inter (or Liverpool if you’re playing an old version), thus putting Benitez out of work and giving you a feel-good boost. Or you can just play the game until he gets sacked, which might take a while as for some reason the SI guys seem to think he’s actually a competent manager, and not just a goatee’d twit.

FIFA 11
It doesn’t actually have managers in it, but you can take it out on Benitez’s team anyway by battering Inter non-stop, for hours on end. Obviously you’ll have to knock it down to an easier difficulty though, as Inter is home to a good deal of world class players. Not that you’d know this from Benitez’s performance in Serie A…

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II
This one would involve a fair bit of imagination, as it features no football or questionable facial hair. Still, using the power of the human mind you will be able to picture all of the Stormtroopers in the game as Rafas, and hurl them all into the great unknown with gay abandon. Hilarious and cathartic!

WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011
Create a character is a robust and fulfilling mode in SvR, so why not make your very own Benitez in wrestler form? And then proceed to smash him through fifty tables before setting him on fire in an inferno match? It makes sense to me.

Final Fantasy VII
This is a simple case of renaming the flower girl, Aeris, to ‘Rafa Benitez’. Then play through the game as normal. At a certain point, it will all become clear – one of the saddest moments in gaming will become one of the most hilarious.

NOTE: This piece is written by an Everton fan, as well as somebody who just doesn’t like Rafael Benitez. While it is true I am not a fan of his, I don’t actually want him dead, nor do I want to inflict bodily harm on him. If you took any of the more aggressive parts of this piece at face value, you are an idiot.

*Even this is in question now, though. So this may turn out to be an even more stupid article than it already is. OH WELL.




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