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PSN Downtime: The ‘Definitely Not Fake’ Sony Response

PSN Downtime: The ‘Definitely Not Fake’ Sony Response

“Valued” customers,

Calm down, like. We’re a bit tired of your pissing and moaning about this whole PSN-being-down situation. We know it’s down. You don’t have to remind us. We’ve got at least three people looking at the problem, including Jeff who’s had a PC the longest out of anyone at work (four years) – so he knows what he’s on about.

The network outage will be sorted. It will be solved. PSN will come back. We’re just not sure when, right now, because we have to make sure this kind of crap doesn’t happen again. Yes, we understand the fact you can’t play CODBLOPS online fills your tiny, stupid hearts with rage, but that’s the way the biscuit flops. We understand you want to play whatever other game it is you unimaginative dweebs flock together to play, but we’re not giving you PSN back until it’s actually fixed.

Yes, this shouldn’t have happened. Yes, bad things have happened. But we actually haven’t done anything wrong, contrary to what many morons on the internets have declared. Rumour has taken the place of fact and blind fury at the fact a non-essential service in your life has been taken away has got in the way of much rational debate. But then, as we mentioned, this is the internets.

So if everyone can just sit the hell down and shut the hell up, we’ll get back on with fixing this piece of crap and re-opening it to you lot. We don’t know why – it’s not like you deserve it after the way you’ve reacted, spoilt, over-entitled little children you are. But we’re a company and we need our product up and out there, functioning properly. We may hate you right now, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want your money.

And for Thor’s sake, you’re getting some free stuff. Even though it’s apparently not good enough, even though we technically don’t have to give you anything, you’re still getting it. So shut up. THANKS.

Gary McSony Exec (definitely “not” fake)

P.S. Xbox sux lol

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  • KeeperOfTheWord

    Call me crazy, but I think I detect sarcasm in his wording.

    I think after this debacle, Gary McSony isn’t going to be a definately “not” fake exec for long.

  • the bossman


  • kev schmit


  • Jack

    You can see why Sony don’t respond with this, yet at the same time… you can’t.

  • james

    play has gone down in my estimation

  • Ian Dransfield

    Wait.. how do you get lower than zero?

  • KeeperOfTheWord


  • kev schmit

    oh no he did int…….mmmmmm hmmmmmm.

  • Sean

    Hey, because of the long wait just think how much better it’s gonna feel when we start up PSN again….
    After changing passwords and account details and all that lol.

  • Eugene

    The Sony customer care team need to be trained in public relations . They dont know how to do there jobs!

  • Immergingvirus

    Some of the stuff that has been said I totally agree with, it’s gone down hey such as life they are fixing it and if anybody out there can fix it quicker why havnt you offered your services, as for the inconvenience of freebies they didn’t have to do it

    Think about it do you pay for online gaming NO!!!, yes its a bummer that it’s down but it will be back up and you will all be back to you own little lives, as for people selling or trading in the ps3 to get an xbox then good for you but I think you’ll be back I’ve seen it in the past but any true gamer will accept it has gone down and deal with it, another thing I didn’t see sony put an advert anywhere inviting people to hack their network it was just the work of mindless morons that think they are brilliant for doing it,what have they achieved sitting in their mums basement hacking the network while their waiting for their mummy to make them tea and bath them and put them to bed and I hope they get caught and get what they deserve(here’s hoping they get sent down and their cell mate named bubba hacks their network)

    No doubt I’ll get moaned at by making these comments but like the network being down I don’t give a monkeys

  • niko

    lol this really made me laugh.