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New Call Of Duty: Black Ops trailer “analysed”, “discussed”


The new trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops has made its way onto the internet to be gobbled up by an eager public. I was going to watch it, offer it up here and throw some comment out on the thing, but unfortunately the computer I’m using right now seems to have formed some kind of aversion to doing anything without being a massive pile of turd. What this means is I haven’t been able to watch the trailer, and so have decided instead to provide comment and speculation on a trailer I haven’t seen.

Who would have guessed the new Call of Duty would be set during the Opium Wars of the 19th century? It certainly is a departure from what we expected, though I do hope Treyarch can keep it tasteful this time around – I don’t expect to have to use an old-fashioned flamethrower on some Chinese civilians, after all.

Fortunately it looks like the main protagonist of the piece has taken a leaf out of the ‘Book Of Interesting Main Protagonists’ and is, rather than a featureless, gruff-voiced soldier, actually a fat, ugly woman with flowing, realistic hair and a voice so high pitched only dogs can hear it. I have to give kudos for Treyarch’s daring move right there.

As for the weaponry? Well this is the only part of the trailer (which I haven’t seen) that I feel let down by. Rather than the accurate weaponry of the era – I don’t know, bayonets and cannons or something – we’re presented with M1911As and sniper rifles. I guess some habits die hard, eh?

I’m willing to place a bet of Some Money that my predict-o-commentary on the trailer is actually 100 per cent accurate. Thanks for sitting through the analysis. Go about your business.

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