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Modern Warfare 3 – The Not Preview

Modern Warfare 3 – The Not Preview

It’s Thursday night, I’m bored and PSN isn’t back online yet. So to pass the time, let’s write a THEORY PREVIEW, which is like a normal preview but it isn’t based on any fact whatsoever. What can we expect from Infinity Ward’s sequel?

More Perks!

Infinity Ward has “listened to the community” and decided to bring back popular perks Martyrdom, Stopping Power and Juggernaut. Infinity Ward is also pleased to announce that “following fan feedback”, Commando will return to the series and will now quadruple your melee distance. Hurray! To ensure that players don’t just pick Commando in slot 2, the devastating Eavesdropping perk will also return to the series.

More Weapons!

Rumours suggest that new weapons include a shotgun that fires all eight rounds at once, a sniper rifle that fires grenades and a sword, with which you can triple your melee range.

More Killstreaks!

To truly take the gameplay to the next level, Infinity Ward will now be providing you with a killstreak after every kill! New killstreaks include Shark Strike, which enables you to melee players anywhere on the map at any time. “This ensures multiplayer remains both dynamic and unpredictable!” someone at Infinity Ward will probably say, at one point, maybe.

Classical Soundtrack With A Modern Twist!

We’re thinking Ride of the Valkyries with a hip-hop beat, as Eminem rhymes “Rambo” with “god damn Commando” over the top.

More DLC!

The game will only ship with two maps – Junkyard and Breach – with the other 22 being split up and released as DLC. This means Infinity Ward can really balance the maps and ensure they are the most exciting, varied maps ever made!

Mute Button Removed!

Because communication is key in a fast-paced, multiplayer game like Call of Duty and it doesn’t make any sense that you’d want to sabotage the attempts of your fellow team-mates to communicate with you and co-ordinate tactics.

What Else?

Over to you – any other suggestions to make Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 the best FPS on the market today?




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  • I Heart CoD 4eva

    They should liek totally let us quikscope! Proper sniping is for losers that use skillz. LOL noobs.

  • Conor

    WE WANT PONIES

  • Bene

    Fuck yeah. Attack ponies, dressed up as Unicorns that run head first into unsuspecting victims. It would be like having a 500lb ballistic knife!

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  • WRAPPA

    ATTACK PONIES WITH HARDONS