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I don’t really like games with boobs

I don’t really like games with boobs

A lot of the games with the biggest boobs are beat-‘em-ups, but I don’t play them. I had to quit Street Fighter IV because my 32 year old brain was getting too slow to keep up with it and I would get so, so, so angry and upset. And other beat-‘em-ups aren’t as good as Street Fighter, so I don’t bother with them. As for beat-‘em-up spin-offs, like Dead Or Alive Volleyball/Xtreme/Paradise… no. Just no.

Then there are JRPGs. I can’t be bothered with JRPGs either. They just drag out so much, and the stories and characters are always so clichéd, and you never seem to have enough freedom for my liking. Western RPGs, I prefer but the ones that really do boobs (i.e. BioWare ones), while excellent overall, make an embarrassing job of handling boobs, so to speak. Honestly, it’s just one Star Trek fan’s wet dream after another. Or Xena: Warrior Princess fan, depending on what game you’re playing.

Continuing with Japan, there’s PlatinumGames. I have a lot of respect for PlatinumGames – being one of far too few Japanese developers not stuck in a rut right now – but I’ve only really enjoyed one of their games, namely Vanquish. Almost no boobs in Vanquish. There’s a tit, the main character, but that doesn’t count. Bayonetta didn’t really grab me, neither did No More Heroes. I also drew a blank with tit-heavy games related to PlatinumGames, like Resident Evil and Devil May Cry. And, while we’re on the subject of hack-‘n’-slash adventures with jubblies in, Ninja Gaiden and God Of War do very little for me too. And that reminds me, the last game with tits in that I did like, was Conan. Perhaps because it adopted a very no-nonsense attitude to norks. None of that stupid teasing you get in other games.

That just leaves Tomb Raider and Metal Gear Solid, which also both leave me cold, and I’ve just about got boobs covered. Really, I don’t know whether it’s coincidence or what, but I just don’t like games with boobs.

So what do I like? Well, these days I mostly play FIFA, Peggle and Everybody’s Golf these days.

Yeah, I like games with balls.




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  • Sean

    There’s been alot of boob articles this week. You guys not getting enough? XD

  • Gavin Mackenzie

    You’re absolutely right.

  • jojo

    if u dont play these games then what fames do u play? Only sports?u cud try out games like rise to honour,or stranflehold,if umm…if balls is ur thing

  • GupX19A

    Homo. 😉

  • mo

    sic age play cod on ps4 or gta5

  • mo

    rapest fucker gay boy