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Hidden Gems: 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand

Hidden Gems: 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand

Now this is going to be a hard sell. It was before the game came out, it was when the game came out and it continues to be after the game came out, even though it’s now nestling in bargain bins for under a tenner. I don’t expect anyone to end reading this with a march down to Game to find a second-hand copy and I do expect plenty of ‘wtf’ comments.

Even so, let it be said – 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand is honestly one of the funniest games you will ever, ever play. And that’s because it’s also one of the most ridiculous games you will ever, ever play.

50 Cent, strapped with guns and grenades, finishes a concert in the Middle East and then demands his $10 million fee from the promoter. The promoter doesn’t have the money and gives 50 a diamond-encrusted skull instead. Of course. That would have been fine except, oh no, his humvee gets carjacked and someone steals his skull. So the events of the game are set in motion – someone stole 50’s skull and he’s out to get it back. Seriously.

Hardly the sort of thing that has BioWare thinking damn, I wish I’d done that first, but that’s not even what pushes Blood on the Sand over the top. It’s the dialogue.

You have a swear button which is part of the combo mechanic, throwing you extra points when you swear after killing someone. So not swearing is essentially handicapping yourself. You can even buy swear packs to unlock more… well, swearing. And all of it sounds ridiculous, as though the script was written by a 15-year-old and delivered by 50 Cent.

It was so over the top, so ridiculous and so deliberately excessive that you think it’s either got 50 Cent spot on or just a huge piss-take. If it was a piss-take, then that leads to further questions – did 50 Cent play this? Did he not know the game was taking the piss? But then you look at the man himself, tweeting things like this:

I can’t belive my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I’m rich fuck this I’m going home I don’t need this shit

And you think hmmm, well, maybe he wouldn’t know.

Underneath the swearing and the skulls, Blood on the Sand was actually surprisingly competent. It might have been The Club reskinned (another game that could qualify for hidden gem status) but hey, that game was good and so was this.

Points were awarded for headshots, grenade kills, melee kills and the like, which bumped you up in the multipliers but also sped up how quickly your combo would break. There would also be bonus points opportunities during the level – highlighted guards who would appear for a certain time – but regardless, no-one really cared that much for Blood on the Sand’s mechanics.

That it was good meant just meant it was a stable platform for the ridiculous swearing and over-the-top nature of it all. Buy it cheap. Play it in co-op. Mash the swear button. Revel in one of the most juvenile, accidentally/deliberately hilarious games you’ll ever play.

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