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Guilty Pleasures – 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand

Guilty Pleasures – 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand

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The original 50 Cent game, Bulletproof, was a diabolical mess and, when we heard there was a follow-up in the works that would see you, as Fiddy of course, shooting your way through an unspecified Middle Eastern country on the trail of a gang of thieves who’ve stolen the crystal skull you received as payment for a concert, we were somewhat gleefully expecting another laughable disaster.
But then the finished game arrived in the office and we all gathered ‘round to have a laugh at how crap it was. Weird thing is, it wasn’t. Everyone that had a go absolutely could not think of anything bad to say about it. Sure, there was nothing exceptional or special about it either, but it was fun, it worked, it was solid and it incorporated some really good (if wholly unoriginal) ideas into its mostly generic third-person shooter mix. Against all expectation, 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand (or FiddyBOTS for short) was good.
The story is as absurd as we had expected, but the delivery is tongue-in-cheek enough to actually make following it worthwhile and entertaining. On the one hand it’s a tale of swearing and of a high, usually uncalled for, level of verbal and physical aggression towards anyone that even dares so much as look in Fiddy’s direction. At one point Fiddy walks into a bar and is greeting by a very polite, fairly sexy hostess. His reply, “Outta my way, bitch!” We probably shouldn’t have laughed, but we did. This is Guilty Pleasures after all.
Speaking of laughing, there are also quite a lot of jokes in Blood Of The Sand. Terrible, terrible jokes. At one point Fiddy meets a gang that has somehow rigged a bomb on a security van full of money. As the gang’s leader remote detonates the bomb using his mobile phone he makes a crack about phone banking. Then it gets worse. Fiddy turns to the camera grinning and says, “I do all my banking online.”
The best/worst thing about Blood On The Sand though, is the scoring system. It’s similar to the one used in The Club, although you get specific bonus objectives popping up here and there and, more importantly, you can increase your score multiplier by swearing. Shoot an enemy in the head and you’ll get, say, 500 points. Shoot him in the head then immediately press the m**********r button to make Fiddy verbally abuse his corpse and you’ll get 750. It’s so utterly stupid, yet it’s something we now want to see implemented in every game. Especially Ratchet & m***********g Clank.




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