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GT5 is ruining reviews for us all

On Gran Turismo 5’s release it saw reviews highlighting negative aspects of the game. The online mode wouldn’t let you limit entries by BHP or weight, the damage modelling didn’t actually affect how cars performed and the standard selection of automovelocitrons didn’t look as good as the premium ones (apparently that’s a genuine enough criticism to knock a fair few marks off the game).

But now – or at least, soon – none of these three highlighted issues will exist. Other issues I’m failing to think of right now have probably disappeared or will do at some point in the future. Yamauchi and his team at Polyphony are doing something quite unprecedented in console gaming: bring major, game-changing patches to their game beyond its release, and I’m annoyed about this. Why? Well it’s rendering all the reviews null and void.

What has the world come to when we review a game, only to find out a week after our deadline goes, or after the words have been committed to the internet, that GT5 has been improved significantly? How are we supposed to be able to function with that? Our word is law, as you all know too well, so how do you think this makes us look when the mistakes we willingly – gleefully, in some cases – highlight are pasted over soon after splurging our wordy opinions all over the gaming public’s grinning faces?

Yamauchi, Polyphony – you have made us look like fools. Worst of all, you have made me look like a fool. I awarded GT5 a high mark, but now you’ve made it better so my original high mark looks… well, it doesn’t really change the score. But if you keep improving it I might have to request the magazine the review is printed in run a re-review so I can address the new points and re-score the game accordingly.

Actually, no. I can’t be bothered with that. Original opinions are always the most definitive, after all, and we all know that these opinions can never, ever change. NOTHING CAN EVER CHANGE THESE OPINIONS.

[Disclaimer for the purposes of the internet being full of people who don’t understand anything: this is made up of ham-fisted sarcasm. It is meant to be an attempt at humour. If you take it seriously and respond accordingly, you are an idiot.]




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  • Lestatdark

    I rarely comment on opinion articles, but this one is indeed one of the best I’ve read in the past years.

    Kudos to the writer, for putting into words what most people that enjoy Gran Turismo 5 think about the reviews and the overall bad journalism behind them.

  • Hey, what’s the problem with improving a game?

    I’m a great fan of the Gran Turismo franchise and GT5, too. Initially my problems with the game were the many, many small issues that thwarted the game experience a bit. But PD is constantly trying to patch these issues and I’m really glad about that! Damn all the initaially reviews – I wanna play a great games and NO review that doesn’t fit any more should provide me from that – honestly. PATCH AS MUCH YOU WANT, PD!

    Some additional ideas:

    1) Better menu structure! (When I drove a race and want to do a restart, I want my money an my experience point, but I DON’T want to load all the data again!

    2) An option to have NO TRACTION CONTROL BY DEFAULT!

    3) What about THREE SEPERATE PLAYLISTS to listen to my OWN BGM while RACING, watching REPLAYS AND grinding through the MENUES!

    4) While in a race:
    PAUSE -> RESTART -> OK / CHANGE SETTINGS

    5) Realistic mamage model from first race to the last (optional) – I would play the whole game again then!

    6) A slightly more forgiving braking sensitivity (to make it a bit easier to drive without ABS – I think, it’s ANTI-LOCK in english…)

    But there’s one big point where I agree a bit: Why the hell couldn’t PD avoid these many, but often small issues right from the start? That sucks a bit. And then there have been MUCH better reviews, too! 😉 Because the feeling of the cars is absolutely stunning and PHENOMENON.

    Greetz from Germany,
    Gregormeister

  • Hotel_moscow

    the reviews were ruined

    when they said the damage was non existent without making a point that later on in the game does the damage get realisitic

    same with AI

    this showing that the reviewers only played for a few hours and then reviewed the game

    it would also explain why forza 3 got such high marks since almost everything is unlocked form the beggining