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Grand Theft Auto V – What We Know

Grand Theft Auto V – What We Know

Rockstar Games has just caused the internet to melt down with EXCITEMENT. I know! Amazing that it was their announcement of Grand Theft Auto V that did so rather than my Everything Is Game Of The Year blog.

So because we’re pretty much obliged to write a Grand Theft Auto V blog for the sake of SEO and because every website in the galaxy is currently compiling their own puff piece to cash in on everyone clicking anything and everything related to GTAV, here’s a full rundown of everything we know based on the announcement!

It will be called Grand Theft Auto V. Not Grand Theft Auto 5. Not Grand Theft Auto 6. It will be called Grand Theft Auto V. Yes it will!

It has a logo. These are quite important because the people making the game have to put them on the box because otherwise you might go to Gamestation and buy Homefront by mistake or something.

It was their tenth attempt at a logo. If you drag the logo off Rockstargames.com, and we only know this because we did so for the image that goes on the front page with this blog, it’s called Untitled-10.jpg. Gasp! That means they’ve had nine other attempts at making this logo! EXCLUSIVE.

It will have a trailer. On November 2nd. It will probably have the main character walking towards the camera while walking down the street, then quickly cutting to him walking towards the camera while walking through a club, then cutting towards him walking towards the camera while there’s a big police vs criminals battle in the background and something exploding, set to dubstep WUBWUBWUB in the background. But we don’t know because no-one knows apart from Rockstar and no-one there can say, otherwise their lawyers will give them a Chinese burn. It’s how the legal system works.

It will have money. The FIVE in the logo has a bank-note background. GRAND THEFT AUTO V HAS MONEY = CONFIRMED.

So there you have it. Our exclusive rundown of everything in Grand Theft Auto V, which is all authentic, all genuine, all 100% true and in no way an obligatory blog for the sake of having something about Grand Theft Auto V on the site immediately so people can click on it. Nope.




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  • Perfect article sir. The inclusion of money is indeed a headline-grabbing addition. Also take away the space between Auto and V and each word has 5 letters, AMAZING.

  • kev schmit

    And i heard this game will have cars in it :O

  • Joey

    I hear it’s possible to rob cars in this one, hence the name of the game. Otherwise it’s going to be orientated around raising and taking care of ponies in a cotton candy cafe, in which cause this game will be great!

  • – It was their tenth attempt at a logo. If you drag the logo off Rockstargames.com, and we only know this because we did so for the image that goes on the front page with this blog, it’s called Untitled-10.jpg. Gasp! That means they’ve had nine other attempts at making this logo! EXCLUSIVE.

    Or it was their sixth (assuming they started at Untitled-5.jpg) 🙂