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Five reasons I will not purchase a Pyramat X Rocker Evolution Gaming Chair

Five reasons I will not purchase a Pyramat X Rocker Evolution Gaming Chair

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5. Lack of Sideways Rockability
I was expecting something more from the next generation of gaming chairs than standard-definition back-forth rockability. C’mon Pyramat! Back-forth rocking chairs have been on the market for 300 years. You’re just letting down your fans by not including the sideways rockability gamers have been demanding since the Sound Rocker S1400.

4. Free Cushioning
While Pyramat fanboys might readily applaud the X Rocker’s built-in comfort and support, while pointing out that other chairs require you to buy separate cushions at additional cost, I’d have to point out that you get what you pay for. The cushioning in the X Rocker is reasonably soft but it’s not exactly versatile. For example, sometimes when I’m playing a survival horror game, I like to hold a cushion in my lap and sorta hug it during really scary bits. You can’t do that with a free, built-in cushion. This just proves that Pyramat doesn’t care about survival horror fans, never has done, and never will.

3. Removal of Legs
I’ve always used chairs with legs and so have millions of other chair fans, so what the Hell does Pyramat think it’s doing suddenly designing a chair with no legs. It’s an insult to those of us who like to hook our ankles around chair legs while gaming. The worst thing is that if I had this chair I wouldn’t even dare use the arm rests through fear that I might get used to them only for Pyramat to come around my house and remove them without warning. You just don’t know what features you’re really getting and that worries me deeply.

2. A Half-Assed War on Obesity
Many gamers, really fat ones, were outraged when Pyramat announced a gaming chair with arm rests, and quite rightly. This kind of arrogant product marketing is biased against true hardcore fans who play games with the kind of dedication that requires no exercise and no food other than meat feast pizzas. It’s just another example of a company selling out to the casual market and turning their back on the fans who’ve supported them the longest.

1. Lack of Real Innovation
For all Pyramat’s talk of technological advancement, unique features and the word ‘Evolution’ in its name, the X Rocker is still just a chair, and one that allows you to do little more than you could on a last-gen chair. While some will no doubt be impressed with the slightly shinier faux leather surface, I’d like to have some original ideas. Like a chair designed for gaming in the foetal position or one that gives you a 400v electric shock up your ass every time you die. Until a company has the balls to start really pushing game chairing forward into the 21st century, I’ll be spending my money on more cushions and maybe a new nice new throw for my sofa.




  • Ewen Simpson

    How about you don’t buy one because they are utter crap? My X-Rocker’s sound unit was broken when I recieved it, so sound only channelled through the left speakers. 2 replacement units and 3 cables later, it still doesn’t work. Awful customer service. It’s gathering dust in my garage now.

  • Chris Morgan

    after half hour of gameplay at full volume, my transformer decided to blow up, and i can’t find a genuine Pyramat replacement anywhere. as Ewen said, now gathering dust in the garage.