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And Now Games Give You Mental Illnesses…

And Now Games Give You Mental Illnesses…

According to a report by someone or other, games are making us all well mental. We’d use more technical and formal language, but we’re too busy being insane to care.

According to the bastion of all trustworthiness and truth that is News Corporation’s The Sun newspaper – ‘news’ being a bit of a stretch, to be honest – these words were said by Baroness Greenfield:

“Screen technologies cause high arousal which in turn activates the brain system’s underlying addiction. This results in the attraction of yet more screen-based activity… [Connections in the brain] can be temporarily disabled by activities with a strong sensory content — ‘blowing the mind’. Or they can be inactivated permanently by degeneration — ie. dementia.”

She also said these words, which made us chuckle maniacally even more:

“There is a need to be outside, to climb trees and feel the grass under your feet and the sun on your face.”

Well, we would, but we’re too busy staying inside to hide from the invasion of knife crime-wielding paedophile immigrants we’ve been warned about by The Sun and other people in positions of power and influence. So, y’know. Soz.

The best bit, though, said:

“The baroness added at a conference in Dorset: ‘What does it say about their identity if they are defining themselves by how others see them?’”

THAT’S HOW PEOPLE HAVE CREATED AN IMAGE FOR THEMSELVES FOREVER. Sigh.

By the way, we’re not going to furnish them with a working link, because that would be playing right into their hands. We may be demented, but we’re not stupid.

Naturally, the only reason we’re defensive of games is because the tiny gibbon-men that flood out of the screen BISCUIT are always BISCUIT telling us we need to help them help them BISCUIT the… hnnnnnngh… BISCUITBISCUIT.

Dear everyone in the world: please get a grip. If everything kids do was going to kill them, they’d all be dead by now.




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  • stephen

    im in trouble then!

  • The_Deleted

    The baroness added at a conference in Dorset: ‘What does it say about their identity if they are defining themselves by how others see them?’”

    What the shit has that got to do with gaming..?

  • James Koppert

    interestingly enough I was having a conversation the other day about this. my nana died of dementia proven to be greatly increased when older people become inactive later in life and not stimulating and exorcising the brain. I was arguing with our generation being video game players, if we continue to do it throughout life and into retirement which I can imagine as TV is to old people, this is part of our culture and so we will do, our minds will continuously be being exercised and dementia levels shall be decreased.

    No shall I do a study and send my findings to Cameron so that the NHS can puts PS3 and Call of Duty in all old peoples home so they too can get online and shout abuse at each other?

  • unclebobbyb

    so i geuss thats why my nan has dementia i shouldnt have been letting her pawn people on call of duty ><