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Top 5 Games You’ve Never Played But Claim To Like

Top 5 Games You’ve Never Played But Claim To Like

It’s nothing to be ashamed of – we’ve all done it. I mean, I am judging you, but there’s no need to hide your face. There are just some games with cult – or even legendary – status that we all have a good natter about online. But the fact of the matter is, you haven’t played them. Don’t lie – I can see right through it. You haven’t. If you say you have, you’re lying. So don’t even bother commenting to say you have, because that’s just an admission of guilt. LIAR.

Beyond Good & Evil
One of the best Zelda clones out there (because, fundamentally, that’s all it is), BG&E sold bugger all when it came out first time around. Online word-of-mouth is a powerful thing, though, and it seems it’s powerful enough to convince a lot of people they need to lie about having played it, lest they no longer fit in.
What you will say about it:
“I feel that Jade’s character is one of the few truly positive representations of women in video games. I do wish more would follow this sort of path.”
What you can do to rectify the situation:
It’s out, right now, in HD glory, on PSN. For just a few quid, too. Go, buy, spend about ten hours of your life finishing it. Repent. Sorted.

Ico/Shadow Of The Colossus
These two get put in as a single entry, because you’re just as likely to have not played one as the other. Often touted as two of the most unique, interesting and damn good games ever released on PS2, it’s no surprise a load of you feel the need to claim you fit in by having played them.
What you will say about it: “It’s a magical world – it’s so serene, yet filled with a sense of self-doubt and impending dread that you can’t quite place.”
What you can do to rectify the situation: The chance to redeem yourselves is upcoming later this year, when the HD re-release of both titles shows its head. Don’t let us down this time.

An imaginative and clever take on a usually formulaic genre, Psychonauts is an obvious choice for people to say they’ve played it. When they haven’t. Why would you? I mean, you get the general idea of it, remember a couple of the gags from the cutscenes and you’ve got enough to blag the rest of your knowledge. Easy.
What you will say about it: “While the platforming wasn’t that huge a leap for the genre, the setting and Tim Schafer’s sense of humour really gives it a sense of character like no other game.”
What you can do to rectify the situation:
If you own a 360 (*spit*) you can download this through the Xbox Classics range. If you’re on PS3, though, you’re either relying on owning a backwards-compatible model or getting your PS2 down from the attic.

Call Of Duty multiplayer
It’s the most popular online game on console, and the series itself is the biggest-selling ever. So why do you have to lie about why you don’t play it online? Why not just admit that you haven’t even bothered trying it? It’s not a sin to simply avoid something.
What you will say about it: “It’s just dominated by 13-year-old American kids – I mean, where’s the fun in that? I’m still hopelessly addicted though!”
What you can do to rectify the situation: If you both have a pulse and a console it’s likely you have a version of COD sitting around somewhere. Break it out, play it online, realise it’s actually quite good fun. Problem solved.

Deus Ex
We all want to be involved when people are talking about one of the most intelligent and liberating games ever made, so it’s no surprise you lie through your teeth, pretending you did indeed make it all the way to the top of the Statue Of Liberty without alerting a single guard or killing anyone. But we all know you didn’t, you liar.
What you will say about it: “The freedom you have in approaching any given situation is immense. And – hah! – did you go into the ladies bathroom?”
What you can do to rectify the situation: Again, you’re going to have to go BC or old PS2 route if you’re in PlayStationVille and want to play. If you have a PC capable of playing an 11-year-old game though (you do), you can pick it up for a matter of pounds on the likes of Steam. Problem: it is solved.

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  • Hah, I’ve played Deus Ex and Psychonauts. Played about an hour each of the other three and hated them. Does that count?

  • Simon

    Own and completed all of the above, didn’t get into call of duty multiplayer and have no desire to. Thought the list would be mOre obscure

  • Keith

    That’s a pointless piece. I mean, the actual idea of the piece is pointless. You could have called it: ‘Five Games You Probably Haven’t Played Because You’re Under 21 Years Old’ and you wouldn’t look like you’re failing at making a statement. The CoD one is particularly stupid: How can you say that one of the biggest multiplayer games on the face of the planet is something ‘you know people haven’t played’.

    Give me my three minutes back.

  • Jay

    What a complete waste of time this article is: Facetious, partonising and, as Keith put it, totally pointless. With the exception of CoD, this is just a list of cult hits that under-sold. And why the hell would anyone want to pretend they’d played a game? The actual concept of this piece just doesn’t work. Utter nonsense!

  • Sandy

    ^TROLLS! I found it rather amusing. It’s not supposed to be serious. I know people who haven’t played Call of Duty multiplayer. And I hate it. Stop trolling please.

  • Keith

    Sandy, I realise there are people out there that don’t play CoD online, but really, do you think it sold so many copies because of its five hour campaign? I also tried to say that I was criticising the concept of the piece and not the writing. I too dislike CoD but I do play it to play with friends (too much in fact, I’m sadly on my 12th prestige, please BF3, come and save me), but the rest of it is a totally ridiculous article. If I was trolling it could have been like: “OMG u dikhead, u don’t like CoD? Ur a looser” < complete with typos.

    At the risk of being flamed, I edit four magazines and have over 40 writers that contribute to my titles. When I'm not posting the occasional comment on stuff that I feel compelled to for whatever reason, I'm giving direction on editorial style and content to professional writers. I do accept though that the words 'failing', 'stupid' and my last line gave it a distinctly negative tone, so I see why you felt the need to say I was trolling.

    Thanks Jay.

  • Ian Dransfield

    You read this statement in the intro par:

    “But the fact of the matter is, you haven’t played them. Don’t lie – I can see right through it. You haven’t. If you say you have, you’re lying. So don’t even bother commenting to say you have, because that’s just an admission of guilt. LIAR.”

    And you still think it’s an entirely 100%-serious list?

    Come on.

  • Keith

    I didn’t say I thought it was serious Ian, I said I thought it was pointless. As you should know, us internet inhabiants are intensely fickle beings, and that’s merely my opinion.

    I’m just surprised that you’d spend your time writing stuff like this if you write for a magazine, so I went to your mag’s site and saw… another list there on the homepage, and figured that perhaps I’ve offended you because these things that I so casually proclaim as pointless are possibly something you are obligated to write as part of your role.

    Can I ask you a question though as someone who works a lot on the internet? Did you consider my first post as trolling?

  • Jake

    HEY! I am fully open with my hatred of COD Multiplayer and Shadow of the Colossus! Though Deus Ex is awesome and I have played it…playing it again right now actually.

  • Ian Dransfield


    Sorry, missed that you’d posted a response.

    I didn’t consider your post trolling, no. While I do disagree with what you’re saying – things don’t have to have a point, and all that – it’s definitely the best-written critique of something I’ve posted online that I’ve ever seen. Genuinely.

    As for the list things: the magazine itself, as in the physical print edition, is where my main efforts reside. This site is a sister to the main event – not particularly ‘lesser’, in that it often carries extended pieces and interviews we couldn’t fit in the mag. But when it comes to the lists, joke articles, reactionary opinion pieces and whatever else it certainly isn’t the main thrust of Play. If that makes any sense.

  • Iain

    Deus Ex will never get old it is such an amazing game, played it when I was 5 got my ass kicked but a few years later and BOOM I was hurled head first into such an amazingly powerful and thought provoking game. Computer version is the best hands down but the PS2 one wasn’t bad.

    It is a testament to Ion Storm that a game from so long ago still rocks, this game proves that the gaming medium is well on par with novels and other such literary…stuff. :S

  • allan

    Played the original beyond good and evil on ps2 and play cod multiplayer