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Ten Of The Best Special Moves

final fightSpinning Lariat
Final Fight

Mike Haggar’s desperation move is something we’ve only ever seen drunken bums do while brawling. Spinning around with your fists clenched, yelling “AROOOOROOOW!” in a crowd of people would probably get you arrested. Not so with the mayor of Metro City. Then again it’s not like Metro City has any cops, is it?

DanLegendary Taunt
Street Fighter IV

This is the ultimate psych-out manoeuvre. Watching Dan tumble around, blathering taunts and shaking his fist at you is really quite the giggle. Anyone who hasn’t seen it will be so busy rolling on the floor laughing that it should be reasonably easy to cancel out of it into your ultra. Fun and functional, see.

Disgaea1Tower Attack
Disgaea 3

Only Disgaea would decide to make its already-nonsensical combat system even more complex by adding tower attacks. Essentially, everyone in your party dives on top of each other like some sort of demented circus act, and then swings the person above in a wide arc. Now that’s dumb.

KnightKnights Of Round
FFVII

This attack calls on 11 knights to help you out, and woe betide anyone you decide to unleash this on. Quite exactly who these knights are is beyond us, as it seems a little unchivalrous to gang up, 11-to-one, against pretty much anyone, especially if you’re packing the kind of weaponry this lot do.

God handBallbuster
God Hand

One of the earliest of Gene’s roulette attacks, the Ballbuster is the stalwart of bar fights around the world. As the name ‘Ballbuster’ suggests, the not-so-delicate application of foot to groin is something of a showstopper for any male combatant. It’s surely the real reason God invented frozen peas.

mortalFriendship
Mortal Kombat III

Friendships were included in Mortal Kombat II and III by way of a snide comment at the way in which the more reactionary critics took to the idea of fatalities. It’s something that hasn’t been done since, and seeing your favourite MK character skipping instead of ripping out hipbones is worth seeing.

DMC4PF594
Devil May Cry 4

Pandora, Dante’s demonic briefcase is one of the most bizarre weapons in gaming. It has 666 forms, the strangest of which is a kind of floating cannon platform with the ability to launch rockets at your foes. Sadly, it’s still a pig to wheel around airports, and is seriously annoying to get up a curb if you’ve packed it too tight.

NarutoOiroke No Jutsu
Naruto

Renamed Sexy No Jutsu by the Naruto fanboys, this special move offers the spiky-haired blond ninja the opportunity to turn into a naked woman in a flash. This is supposed to startle enemies like some sort of a sexy smoke bomb, but it’s more likely to be just a clever way of keeping the more lonely gamers playing.

CassandraCassandra’s Critical Finish
Soul Calibur

This is another sexy one. Where the standard critical finish system sucked ass, Cassandra’s highly sexual finisher is a way out that many, more deviant folk would choose. The Greekgoddess manages to eject love hearts from her undergusset as she sits on you. We’ve been trying that trick all day. The office is seriously smelly.

ThrillThrill Kill
Thrill Kill

Reworked to include the Wu-Tang Clan, the original Thrill Kill was bought by EA and subsequently binned on the PSone, mere weeks before release. One reason being the finishing move of Belladonna, who would ram a cattle prod down foes’ throats before giving herself a little light… ahem, relief. Trust us, that’s not sexy with only 16 polygons.




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