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Ten of the best gory kills

Ten of the best gory kills

afroAfro Samurai
Afro Samurai’s finishing mechanic is all about slicing your foes in whatever sick and sadistic fashion you want to. If you like the idea of chopping off the goon’s pinky finger, you’ve got it. Of course, this means that inevitably you’ll end up playing with the system and lopping the female’s lady lumps off. Dark.

FalloutFallout 3
The Bloody Mess perk offered to you in Fallout 3 gives a handy little five per cent damage to everything. What’s more, it makes everything go boom-boom like an unlucky trifle on Guy Fawkes’ night. This perk is particularly good if you’re going for those headshots. Honestly, it never, ever gets boring.

Fiddy50 Cent: Bulletproof
Now, 50 Cent’s dubiously entitled ‘counter kills’ are so unnecessarily violent, we find it difficult not to feel sick every time he drives a hunting knife into some unsuspecting guy’s neck or groin. There really is nothing of the ‘counter’ about them – it’s just an ex-drug dealer stabbing people, or shooting them in the ass with a shotgun.

GOWGod Of War
While Kratos probably can’t remember how many people he’s killed, it’s one particular slaying that gets us. Tearing the head from Medusa makes us feel a little bit ill. The desperate look on the face of the poor snake woman as you slowly remove her noggin is deeply unpleasant. Just think about that for a moment. Not pleasant.

Manhunt is not only banned in some countries, it’s illegal to possess in New Zealand and Brazil. The game really does serve up some sick slices of murder; however, the plastic bag has to be one of the most sinister methods. As yet no one has proved to us that you can kill someone with a bag, though. Any takers?

MortalMortal Kombat
Ohhh, good old Mortal Kombat. It’s nigh on impossible to select a favourite fatality for the series, but we’re going to go for personal preference and plump for Sub-Zero’s body rip. Frozen solid, you would still be alive as he tore your body, literally, in half. Given how slow your blood would be pumping, you’d probably live long enough to realise it as well.

PunisherThe Punisher
There’s so much to say about The Punisher here, but we’ll keep it pretty short. Face. Piranhas. Worse than even the sloppiest school snog. Just imagine getting your face stripped off by dozens of tiny sharp mouths. They’re not fast either. A chunk here, and a chunk there, until they’re clamping down on nothing but nerves and orbital bones.

Getting shot in the balls can’t be much fun, and dying from it has to be a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand, you’re dead; on the other, you don’t have to live your life as a eunuch, squeaking your impotence to the world. Still, there’s always the chance you might impregnate someone with the resulting errant semen. Swings and roundabouts, eh?

TheDarknessThe Darkness
The executions present in The Darkness have to be some of the most grisly in gaming. Part of that is because the action happens so very close up. One of the most unpleasant thoughts about being shot is that they’re rarely at straightforward angles, and being shot in the side of the chin, or armpit can’t be a nice way to go.

VelvetVelvet Assassin
A man’s bum is sacred. If you want people to touch it then fine, that’s your call. For the most part though, not many people get too close to it without your express permission. Violette Summer, the leather-clad lead from Velvet Assassin, has something of a penchant for stabbing Nazis in the ass. And that’s not a euphemism.

Agree? Disagree? Did we miss any of your favourites out? Let us know below!

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  • You missed the ones in Resident Evil 4. I had cold chills when I met the regenerator for the first time and even when you blow their legs off they swim towards you on the floor, then proceed to nosh on you like your a kulfi (an Asian desert). That Leon boy must have twice the amount of blood flowing through his body than anyone else.