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Five Features That Could Trump Skyrim’s UNLIMITED DRAGONS

Five Features That Could Trump Skyrim’s UNLIMITED DRAGONS

When you’re told things about games all the time, they tend to blur into one big mess of nothing. “Revolutionary” this, “visceral” that, “epic” the other and – naturally – “mature” whatever. You get accustomed to it and soon enough begin to tune it out.

Basically, press releases need something impactful – something truly special to get your attention. We’ve just been given an example of something that would do this job perfectly, even though it wasn’t actually on a press release.

Skyrim will feature UNLIMITED DRAGONS.

If that was on the PR for the game I would be on my way to Bethesda right now to kick their doors down and steal the unfinished code, just so I could have my wicked way with it (by that I mean play it, nothing dodgy).

But seeing as I’ve decided that’s the winner of press releases (even though it wasn’t on one), PR firms are going to have to pull out the big guns to one-up UNLIMITED DRAGONS. Here are a few suggestions:

FREE CASH/CRACK/HOOKERS
Not that I would encourage these things being free. No, not even money. But it would certainly be an incentive the world would pay attention to.

NOT A MILITARY SHOOTER OR ANYTHING FEATURING SPACE MARINES
Going for shock value, here.

WE’RE NOT DOING POINTLESS DLC – EVERYTHING THAT SHOULD COME ON THE DISC COMES ON THE DISC
It’s a bit too long-winded to be a bullet point, but I’d let it off if the game followed through with this particular promise.

ALSO CURES CANCER
Thrown in at the bottom of the list, at the point where people have already stopped reading, this would be perfect.

UNLIMITED DRAGONS (ALSO NUDITY)
How to make UNLIMITED DRAGONS better? Boobs, obviously. Not dragons with boobs though – that’s too small a niche to be really appealing.

Next press release I see with any of these elements on it gets a gigantic high five, by the way.




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