Home » FEATURES » Six games Obama can learn “PlayStationing” with

Six games Obama can learn “PlayStationing” with

Six games Obama can learn “PlayStationing” with

Barack_Obama_with_Superman

Speaking to students at Hampton University, Virginia, President Obama made some bold claims:

“You’re coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don’t always rank all that high on the truth meter.”

“With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, — none of which I know how to work — information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation.

“All of this is not only putting new pressures on you, it is putting new pressures on our country and on our democracy.”

Obviously we’re going to ignore his statement – which may or may not have merit – and instead focus on that one bit where he admits to not knowing how to use a PlayStation (or Xbox, or iPod, or iPad). That’s just silly. They’re easy to use. So, President Obama, just follow our list of recommendations and next time around you can tell everyone how great you are at gaming. We’re here to help.

  1. Eyepet: This would ease him in to the world of gaming, offering a slow-paced introduction to issues of control and trying to torture small, cute creatures. He would also be amazed by the fact that he could see his face on the screen – it’s like magic!
  2. Rogue Warrior: This would be more of an experiment than anything – we want to see if someone who hasn’t really played games would hold this game in such reprehensible regard as we do. It’s an interesting prospect.
  3. Peggle: Back to the training again with this one, and what a doozy. The problem with teaching Obama how to play Peggle is that he probably wouldn’t continue with the rest of his training regime and, as such, this whole experiment would go down the pan. It’s a risky one.
  4. Modern Warfare 2: This is a double-training experiment, teaching Obama how to play (good) FPS games, as well as how foreign policy actually operates. Oh, it would also teach him that just about every kid in his country needs to be put down for the good of the nation.
  5. Grand Theft Auto IV: Because even the President of the United States should enjoy beating up hookers. Also: American dream and all that guff.
  6. Demon’s Souls: The final step in Obama’s training. Once he can function in this world, he can function anywhere. Not only would mastering Demon’s Souls make him a better gamer, it would (probably) make him a better President. Or something.

That’s our regime. Let us know how it works out for you, Bazza..




Similar posts