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PlayStation’s mascots: where are they now?

PlayStation’s mascots: where are they now?

Crash Bandicoot and Spyro The Dragon
Back in the early days of PlayStation these two chaps had a promising career as mascots ahead of them. The failure of protracted and lengthy contract negotiations saw the two released from Sony duties as free agents.

Unfortunately for them, things were never the same post-PS. Crash unsuccessfully attempted to open a crate manufacturing business in western Bognor Regis, but was closed down by health and safety inspectors after thirteen workers were killed by exploding boxes (one inspector was quoted as saying “these boxes explode on contact. I see no reason – at all – why they should exist”).

Spyro moved into the club circuit and for a short time was a successful cruise ship singer. This career was cut short after he was jailed for embezzlement in 2004. He has not been heard from since.

Robbit (Jumping Flash)
“I remember those days fondly”, Robbit told us when we caught up with him in the old robotic rabbits home. “I would jump, then I would land. Then I would jump again. Sometimes I would follow that up with another landing. Great days. You can’t get days like that anymore – especially not with my rusty joints.”

After his brief flash of success on the PlayStation, Robbit moved into used car sales where he made a successful living selling chopped motors to unsuspecting members of the public.

He is now retired, living it up in a luxury complex. “Then I would jump. Sometimes I would land – but if I didn’t land, I would always try again. I also wore an onion on my belt, which was the style of the time…”

Ching Tong Chang (Motor Toon Grand Prix 2)
Chang had a future all laid out for him – the product of then-upcoming studio Polyphony Digital, he would regularly boast about how he was set to become a true icon of the PlayStation generation.

This status as a bona-fide mascot never came to fruition, however, on account of two unfortunate incidents. Firstly Polyphony moved onto what they considered a ‘better’ option in Gran Turismo – Chang was quoted as saying “who cares about that? Whoever made this decision is stupid. He’s an idiot. And he’s fat.”

Secondly, Chang was released from his duties in 1998 after being involved in a race-hate controversy. His career never recovered.

Fo Fai (Battle Arena Toshinden)
The heady excesses of the early days of PlayStation may seem laughable to us now, in our ivory towers made of pure, futuristic, hindsight-toting arrogance, but back in 1995 there was one man who made the cover of every magazine under the sun (including a rarely-publicised appearance on the front of PlayGirl). Fo Fai had it all – wisdom, claws, a high-pitched voice – but he didn’t have the ability to avoid changing trends.

He simply fell out of favour – out of fashion. Fai went into hiding for a number of years, returning from the shadows in 2007 to offer public classes on “how to pull the ladies (and not claw their eyes out)”. The last we heard he was on the verge of being offered a reality TV show based on these classes, set to air on Channel Five.

Parappa The Rapper
Possibly the most successful pooch to come out of our research into PlayStation’s past, Parappa now likes to be known by his given surname, Smith. Nevertheless, the positive-thinking, free-spirited pup with that frog-sporting beanie has gone from strength to strength, even in the wake of his poorly-received PS2 sequel.

Throughout his career a successful motivational speaker, Parappa has recently seen his life make headway for the Oval Office. He is expected to be elected Senator of Arkansas in the upcoming state elections and has already informed friends of his ambitions towards the Presidency of the US.

We were unable to get word from US lawmakers whether or not an anthropomorphic dog is allowed to run for the most powerful job in the world, but they’ve already had a chimpanzee (HAHA GEORGE BUSH JOKE), so why not?

Green Car (Ridge Racer)
Green Car had it rough, even back in the 90s. He was fighting a constant battle for column inches and cover images with the ever-popular Red Car, but this was a fight that would not go well.

Falling out of favour with Ridge Racer management, Green saw his stock go from average to nothing. Within five years he was selling his parts on the street, offering low-paying bums a brief glimpse of what it’s like to race in a rather slow, but good at handling car.

We were one of the first publications notified beyond Green’s immediate family of his death in 2008. He had been living rough for around a decade by this point, and new government mandates dictated that cars without the correct tax details would be towed and crushed. Green never stood a chance against this state-sponsored euthanasia.

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  • NRGuitarist

    Where’s good ol’ Abe? I know he was unofficial, but ABe and Oddworld both ROCK! And with the announcement of new Oddworld games on the way? EPIC. WIN. Simple.

  • dylan

    omg the guy above just posted wat i was going to say