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Modern Warfare 3 Gets Kanye West. Who Does Battlefield 3 Get?

Modern Warfare 3 Gets Kanye West. Who Does Battlefield 3 Get?

Call Of Duty is a subtle, nuanced series that appeals to all of the bashful, introverted types out there in gaming land. As such, it’s no surprise to see that Activision has drafted in the king of all shy, reserved people around the world – Kanye West – to perform at Call Of Duty XP.

It’s sure to be a mix of thoughtful, considered debate on the role of gaming in the modern world along with challenging, emotional musical content that stimulates the brain glands as much as it does the dance glands.

But what will the competition do? EA has been trying to go toe-to-toe with Modern Warfare 3 from day one with Battlefield 3. So surely they’ll need to pull someone, or some act, out of the hat in order to at least match – if not one-up – its perennial competitor. Suggestion time? Suggestion time. GO:

Lil’ Wayne
In an attempt to out-subtle and force its audience to think even more than the COD crowd, EA could always opt for the king of substance over style, the master of thought-provoking lyrics* and the man who always makes us wonder what it would be like to be such a wonderful human being as he clearly is: Lil’ Wayne.

Mensound
One of the foremost a cappella groups hailing from Ukraine, Mensound have been described as a mix between ‘we’ve never listened to them’ and ‘their name sounded funny’. This is the sort of leftfield choice DICE and EA should be looking to make for their musical extravaganza (that we’ve invented) to have any impact.

Leftfield
Speaking of coming out of leftfield, what about Leftfield?

2 Unlimited
We don’t actually know what music sounds like post-2 Unlimited, because we cut our ears off after hearing ‘No Limit’ all those many years ago. This wanton act of self-mutilation is surely the sort of act one would want to associate with a game about war, so the Dutch… “musicians”… seem the perfect choice.

Coldplay
You know, just in case EA actually wants everyone there to die from Instant Onset Mediocrity. That stuff can kill, and Coldplay have been known to spread it like mofos from hell.

As a result of these suggestions we should clearly be entitled to some kind of finder’s fee. Cheques – which are no longer being phased out, even though we’d bet most of our readers have never and will never use one – to the usual address please.

*”Shawty wanna thug / Bottles in the club / Shawty wanna hump / And oh I like to touch ya lovely lady lumps / She wanna lick the rapper.”




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  • Chris

    Activision aren’t doing things great.
    I’ve just heard about MW3 “gaming glasses”
    And now they’ve got the worlds biggest a***hole to perform for them.

    Hope they keep it up. Its fairly amusing.

  • The Deleted

    As long as they have Kanye, Battlefield should be safe.

  • The Deleted

    not even sure what I mean by that…

    …any way, Kanye’s a prick.

  • lololololololo

    Lol, activision. It sounds like you’re scared because BF3 is going to rape in your ass.