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Let’s Cast… A Katamari Movie

After the stellar success of our last casting blog (er, not sure about that claim) we thought we should cast another completely unsuitable videogame as a movie. This time we take a look at Katamari, a game that makes even less sense as a movie than Portal would do. Once again we would ask any Hollywood execs reading this to completely ignore the following.

We don’t want this to happen.

The Prince played by Robert Pattinson – We’re not completely disconnected from the need to make a videogame movie as commercial as possible and we think tapping into that tween/mother-daughter/Twilight audience could be the way to make Katamari a boxoffice smash.

The King Of All Cosmos played by Will Ferrell – Eccentric, half-crazed, clumsy, but oddly charming and lovable, Will Ferrell is clearly the man to bring the King Of All Cosmos to life. He looks great in tight green spandex too. We’re just saying.

The Queen played by Cate Blanchett – She’s had plenty of royal experience (Elizabeth I, Galadriel) and has just enough of the a motherly touch about her to be regal, but understand. She’d have to be if she were married to the King. Anyway, Blanchett = class and that’s what the Katamari movie needs.

The Katamari played by Andy Serkis – ‘Why would you need somebody to play the Katamari?’ we hear to ask. Well, that’s a good question but we think if the cast is going to really interact and perform with the Katamari they need something to represent it during Green Screen shooting. Serkis is the man.

Witless humans played by the cast of Glee – A cheap shot you may think, but surely that’s the point of the characters in Glee. They’re all clueless. And so it is with the humans crying our for help in Katamari. We’re sure they would bring the necessary gormlessness we require.

Actor images via IMDB.

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