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How To Avoid Spoilers

How To Avoid Spoilers

Mass Effect 3 is out there, as we may have mentioned about 14 billion times in the last week or so on this site. There’s been some feedback about the ending, as we may have mentioned about 12 billion times in the last week or so on this site.

And what does that lead to? A lot of spoilers. People saying they didn’t like this or that – in detail.

People not understanding that not everyone has finished the games they have finished, or not everyone is as open to reading or hearing about the same details they might be.

See, I’m a man who likes nothing to be ruined. I didn’t even know anything about the From Ashes ME3 DLC until I downloaded it. It was a pleasant surprise, as a result.

But it’s not always easy to avoid things. With the combined assault of user comments and idiotic writers who seem to think it’s part of the job to talk about stories in painstaking detail, it can be hard to miss out on the spoilers you might want to miss out on.

So how do you avoid them? The internet is still a lawless frontier of idiots and chancers, much like the real world. You need a few guidelines to follow to help you out – so here’s a small batch:

Avoid forums

This actually applies to all the time, rather than just when you’re looking to avoid ruining something for yourself. But doubly so when trying to steer clear of spoilers.

Don’t read news

Because some inconsiderate moron will inevitably post massive (or even tiny) spoilers as news, or an opinion, or a discussion, or a joke. The sick bastards.

Don’t use Twitter

Because everyone in the world is an idiot who will openly talk about things as if everybody already knows or wants to know them. Sort of like on weekends when everyone blurts out the football results when you just want to wait and be surprised by Match Of The Day.

Never click on links people post related to the game in question

Because – while there’s no actual science behind this – 97.3% of links people post in comments threads/on Facebook/on Twitter when talking about a game you like but don’t want to ruin for yourself will be spoilers.

Switch off the internet

Look, I know you don’t want to, but it makes sense. You just have to do it, at least until you’re done with the game in question.

Never talk to anyone ever again

Again, at least until you’re done with the game.

Lead as others should follow

I do my best to not spoilerise things in the slightest. I might slip sometimes, but I make the effort. If you too lead by example, we could soon live in a safe, free world where we no longer have to worry about everything being ruined.




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