Home » FEATURES » $49.99 can get you a lot these days

$49.99 can get you a lot these days

I’m willing to bet a few of you got some cashmoney over the non-denominational holiday period, meaning you can put it towards some gaming delights. I’m normally enthusiastic about the notion of disposable income, as it means I can splash the cash and – for once – not worry about where my next packet of ramen is coming from. But all that changed in the wake of Harmonix, developers of Rock Band, apparently being sold for $49.99*. The playing field has changed, kids – so here’s the next few companies I think you’ll be able to get for the price of a single game in the near future**.

Platinum Games
Nobody seems to want to buy anything they do, even though their output is verging on stellar. As such, I can see this Japanese developer devaluing to the point where even a tiny child could buy them. Unless said tiny child buys sweeties instead.

Rebellion Developments
It’s hard to write about Rebeliion without sounding mean, but they deserve it after their recent output. Underwhelming us with AvP was bad, but Shellshock 2 and Rogue Warrior? You’re having a laugh. For just shy of fifty dollars you could own a company where you went into work every day and simply screamed “remake the 1999 version of AvP!” until they actually do so.

Fitting in with the company’s plans to release games in what is essentially ‘bit-by-bit’, I would be happy to buy the first 40 per cent or so of the company for a flat fee of $49.99, which would obviously rise via microtransactions should I wish to get more content or functionality from my video game company. E.g. If I was to want toilets fitted in the office, it would be a one-off payment of $15. Easy!

Nobody likes games about space operas or dragons or anything – there’s clearly no market for it. As such, I will happily take control of BioWare for $49.99 and send the company in bold, new directions. Involving dragons and operas. In space.

I bet you missed our regular blogs over the holiday period.

*I am ignoring the debts and licensing costs incurred, because the thought of them ruins my fun.

**This isn’t actually based on anything, and is in fact just a piss-take. In case there was any confusion, which there often is on the internet.

Similar posts

  • Garan

    Now that you put disclaimers at the end theres no one raging over your jokes.

  • Ian Dransfield

    Ah, but the disclaimers themselves are also jokes! It’s layer upon layer of comedy gold. In a way.

  • the bossman

    Your wit knows no bounds, sir.