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3 PS3 Games Worse – Or As Bad As – Amy

3 PS3 Games Worse  – Or As Bad As – Amy

Amy is a bad game. There’s so much wrong with it that listing it all here is impossible. The internet can’t contain that much wrongness – it already has Failblog, after all. There’s just no more room.

As poor as Amy is however, and as much as you may or may not hate it, there are worse games on PS3. We didn’t believe it ourselves until we played them, but they do exist.

Rogue Warrior

Rogue Warrior is quite possibly the worst game on PS3. It’s also the worst reviewed game in Play’s history – and we’ve been running for longer than you’ve been alive – with a gargantuan score of 9%.

For those of you that haven’t played it, you take control of an abysmally poor, insult to the 80’s bad teenage power fantasy called Dick Marcinko, who is voiced by Mickey Rourke. His favourite words all include violence, sexual insults, or sexually insulting violence. It’s like sitting listening to someone blandly read out the lyrics to 2Pac’s greatest hits for hours on end.

Allegedly an FPS, Rogue Warrior sadly has nothing in common with the games that define the world’s most popular genre other than that you control a man with a gun who shoots – and stabs, a lot – of people dead, real horrorshow.

It looks atrocious. Aiming your gun on target feels like landing an elephant on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean thanks to sluggish controls. The graphics and textures are so muddy and pixelated that they look were programmed on a Net Yaroze in the middle of a particularly inclement Glastonbury. It’s about three hours long, although that may be a good thing.

It is, simply, trash. Although Mickey Rourke does rap over the end credits. So there’s always that.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Most of the Harry Potter games have been absolutely worthless, and this is absolutely the worst of the bunch. Here at Play we can’t claim that we know everything about the inner workings of publishers, or the oftentimes-mental decisions that get games made.

We can, however, imagine the meeting that spawned this atrocity, which probably went along these lines*:

‘Alright, what games are popular at the minute?’

‘Shooters! That Gears of War thing!’

‘Good, good, they do sell a lot don’t they?’

‘Yes, the kids love them’

‘And guess what kids also like?’

‘HARRY POTTER!’

‘Let’s just make it like that! But with Potter!

And so off they went to lunch, spending more on lobsters than we earn in a year, and soon after the Gears of Potter monstrosity launched, making use of neither the license nor the mechanics, and generally being one of the worst games on PS3. Great!

Ar Tonelico Qoga: Knell Of Ar Ciel

Here’s what we said when we originally reviewed this nonsense:

“Feels like a glance into the mind of a perverted otaku, and little more.”

Enough said, surely?

DISCLAIMER: It should be noted that in no way does Play believe any of this was actually said like this, and that we’re not implying that anyone ever said these words, m’lud.




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  • Jimmy Porklap

    Seriously? Rogue Warrior?

    Sure, it wasn’t Call of Duty but it was an ok game that used the same control scheme. There are much worse games out there than Rogue Warrior.

    How about FIFA 12. Soccer sucks. Period.