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Lightning Returns: When DLC Goes Bad

Square Enix is at it again – after releasing bizarre crossover costume packs that let Sleeping Dogs protagonist Wei Shen, Hitman’s Agent 47 and Deus Ex’s Adam Jensen all dress up as one another, the company has announced today that Lightning Returns is getting day one DLC to allow Lightning to dress up like Lara Croft.

The problem here is that it isn’t 1996 any more. Lara no longer rocks that iconic turqoise tank and so Lightning, when she puts on new Lara’s clobber, just looks like she’s wearing regular clothes and hasn’t showered in weeks. To make the connection more obvious, Square has elected to change up Lightning arsenal as well. It’s goodbye to the game’s fancy shields and massive swords and hello to… a climbing axe and a little riot shield that actually says ‘Tomb Raider’ on it. Amazing. Just amazing.

So what’s next? Thief DLC where you play as Zidane Tribal from Final Fantasy IX? Sleeping Dogs DLC that replaces all the cars with chocobos? Tomb Raider DLC that replaces Lara with every character from The Bouncer? WHERE WILL THIS MADNESS STOP?

The usual DLC argument of ‘if you don’t like it, don’t buy it’ applies here of course, and we’re not complaining – we’re merely pointing out how utterly ridiculous this is. Still, if you fancy running around at the end of the world in clothes dirtier than Light’s usual garb, have your PSN wallet that little bit more ready for when the game hits on 14 February.

This strange crossover stunt might be all kinds of stupid but the game itself is actually really good. How good, exactly? Find out in the first review of the game in the new issue of Play, which is out on 6 February in those shop things as well as online. In the meantime, here’s the silly trailer for this silly DLC. It really is quite silly.

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  • Dave

    Future Retro
    What will happen in the future to games that have been downloaded from PSN. Will we still be able to re-download them from Sony in 20 or 30 years time? I can still load games on my Sincair Spectrum from the tapes! Will this be the end of future retro gaming? Here today, gone tomorrow?