I’m not going to pretend the Tekken movie trailer doesn’t excite me

Here comes a new challenger! A new challenger for the title of Worst Movie Based On A Beat-‘em-Up Franchise Ever. Street Fighter, as in the one starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, has been champion in this particular arena since 1994, and it’s about time the Tekken movie came along and knocked it off the top (or maybe it’s the bottom) just like the Tekken game did, also in 1994, when everyone went “It’s 3D so it must be better than Street Fighter”. The fools!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation came tantilisingly close, then hopes were high (i.e. low) for Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li, but even that couldn’t match the stupidity of casting Kylie Minogue as Cammy then making her wear trousers for the whole film. But maybe Tekken can. The trailer certainly suggests it might. Come on, let’s get behind this one people.