When Naruto first started appearing on these shores it seemed like a good alternative to the dreary Dragon Ball Z. Ninjas who had cool ninja powers, kids possessed by nine-tailed foxes that could turn into girls was a bit more palatable than the sci-fi ‘your power level is huge!’ silliness of the Z. Then the games started. The beat-’em-ups may have been simple but they were good. Unfortunately, they were soon translated into English, losing all their charm and Naruto turned into nothing more than a Saturday morning cartoon. Then the games got worse and here we are with what has to be the worst of them all.

If it was a straight fighting game then it might have had a chance, but Ninja Heroes 2: The Phantom Fortress has got some serious problems with mini-games. Oh, and the fighting isn’t very good either. In the plot, which is slowly explained through the various characters, a huge haunted tower has appeared outside Leaf Village and its summoning spells doom for the ninjas... unless someone can go inside and remove the magical seals.

Eventually you get to actually play the game rather than pressing X to get through all the speech – it takes a seriously long time before this happens though, and then you find out it wasn’t really worth it. Naruto being his usual impetuous self, after many warnings not to, decides to climb the tower. There are 99 floors comprising of a different number of rooms, and in each of these rooms you have to do something. Fighting usually, but this is also where the mini-games come in. Because the tower is haunted this means Naruto has to do all sorts of crap: climb up trees and avoid stuff, answer questions on Naruto trivia, play ‘find the lady’ (or in this case, nut), there’s also bemani and slot machines to try to enjoy.

The fighting takes up most of it though, it’s just a shame it’s a poor clone of Super Smash Bros that sees you chasing after your opponent and trying to whittle away their life bar, or waiting because you’ve knocked them off screen and it takes ages for them to reappear. The combos require little more than a fast thumb, but actually playing the game requires such an acceptance of absolute dross that it’s hard to believe that even Naruto fans could find some enjoyment in this.

Tim Empey