Had Mercury Meltdown appeared when Alanis Morissette had been harping on about jagged little pills and what you oughta know, you can be sure that the monotone Canadian would have mentioned it in Ironic. The original Mercury instantly made an impression on Sony’s handheld, because it was like nothing else in the machine’s European launch line-up. Now that Archer Maclean is no longer onboard the project though, Mercury Meltdown has been turned into yet another dull, generic sequel.

Indeed, Ignition Banbury has tried so hard to appeal to a mainstream audience that it’s lost the essence that made the original Mercury so much fun to play. Bad show Banbury.

Take the insane visuals for example. While it could be argued that this new vibrant look will appeal to far more people than the stark, metallic coldness of the original game, it could also be said that it now looks like someone has vomited over a Salvador Dali. Then you have the mercury itself. While we can forgive the naff cel-shaded new look (mainly because you’re able to turn it off in the options), we were less impressed with the new forms it’s able to take on certain levels, mainly because they add little to the game and, if anything, make it even tougher to control. The levels have also had an overhaul and where they were once cunningly designed stages that required you to use both your brain and careful nub manipulation to complete, the focus now is on huge sprawling stages – which would be fine if they were actually enjoyable to play through. It would appear that Banbury simply didn’t know what to do with all that extra space as many of the puzzles are a confusingly designed mess that require you to do far too many different things in order to solve them. And you’ve got 168 of the buggers to complete. Arrrggghhh! There’s a good reason the saying ‘Less is more’ exists.

Sure, there are a range of party games this time around, but they’re all a chore to play. Yes, the unlocking system is far more straightforward, but the levels are so convoluted you won’t want to play through them anyway. We’re not sure why Meltdown is such a radical departure from the original game (although we certainly have a few ideas) but in doing everything it can to make Meltdown as commercially viable as possible, Banbury has seemingly forgotten the gamers that helped make this sequel possible in the first place. Sod rain on your bloody wedding day Ms Morissette, that’s true irony for you.

Darran Jones