Around a thousand years ago, Vikings were the equivalent of pirates. Raping, pillaging and generally causing a ruckus in beautifully carved longboats. Cliché dictates they wear dual-horned helmets and have bristling facial hair. Unfortunately, videogame history is about as close to reality as Britney Spears.

There’s something distinctly non-Viking about Viking: Battle For Asgard. It’s a world fi lled with west-country tavern owners and quarry foremen from Lancashire. Viking is less Nordic and more like the Molyneux classic Fable, but without the gay lovers and people calling you ‘Arseface’. It’s all about freeing villages and fellow Vikings. There’s a defi nite sense of achievement when you’ve ousted Hel’s hunchbacked minions, restoring peace and birdsong to the area. Hel, incidentally, is the feisty villain, a fallen goddess now ruling the underworld. Her only opponent is Freya, a woman with a chip on her shoulder and a pair of huge Danish buns on her head. Skarin, you, has been appointed the task of freeing the Viking populous from tyranny in time-honoured fashion, by slicing up stuff with a big sword.

Despite this obviously exciting premise, the game starts off rather sedately. Doing Freya’s bidding is easy – slay the horde and untie your friends. You’re left wondering where the huge battles and longboats are. The skirmishes are over too quickly. With the help of an army of Vikings gathered from freed villages you’ll be trouncing the enemy with ruthless effi ciency. Longboats are only there for show, marooned on beaches. That being said, it’s all very stylish. Finishing moves, triggered when an opponent is nearly dead, are suitably bloodthirsty. An armless foe will stagger around waiting for you to fi nish him off. With the tap of a button Skarin (in super slow motion) will hack off his other arm and dispatch his head with aplomb. Conveniently the surrounding enemies will stand back and watch as this 18-rated scene unfolds. This can be used to your advantage, to keep the guys off your back. You can learn new combos at the Battle Arena for a small gold fee, adding depth to what could have been an extremely dull button-mashing affair. Gameplay takes another twist though, instead of encouraging you to constantly attack, the best approach is to take on the enemies with that least conspicuous of Viking traits, stealth.

Every island is conquered by taking on the main city in a huge battle, but more on this later. Before this you’ve usually got to sneak in and retrieve an object or charge up some sort of stone. Of course, when you’re fi rst tasked with this, it’s not clear that you have to take the spy route. Even without the help of your army, the assumption is that you just go up to the front door and try to take out as many people as possible. But when they continually respawned we started to doubt this tactic. It’s only by running around a bit that we found the back entrance, a rug on the spiked wall around the side. A small dashed line marks it on the in-game map. This route appeared to be merely decoration rather than something useful. Once learnt, the pattern became obvious, but it was the fi rst point at which we got stuck. The second was on commencing the skirmish battle. These huge battles are begun through the map, unlike every other mission. Again, it’s not that clear, but once you’ve realised this you won’t be confused again.

The vast skirmish battles themselves are vaguely strategic, you’ll have control of a dragon who can only be summoned by collecting runes. There’s no point going after the foot soldiers, instead it’s best to just run right past them and head for the shamans. These guys give you runes, which can be used against other shamans. The infrequency and scope of the skirmishes mean they don’t get too tiresome. You’re surrounded by hundreds of allies who you can imbue with magical powers and watch as they charge, running and screaming at the undead creatures. Despite the pedestrian start, battles get satisfyingly better. Occasionally the game will struggle with the amount of enemies on screen and the frame rate will drop a little, but by the fi nal island you’ll be thrashing giants and swordswinging knights on your way to the hallowed portal that holds the key to the land.

With a smug sense of Nordic fulfi lment, you can stroll through the huge liberated cities. Unfortunately, they’re still littered with fallen soldiers, you’d think someone would clear them up. Skarin can even pillage from his own people with money bags and breakable pots on offer. The Vikings in these cities are lovingly animated, they tie their shoelaces, sneeze and wipe dubious substances from their feet. However, if you bring back a member of Hel’s horde from the outback, they’ll just stand and watch you getting hit. Thanks, guys.

Another frustration is that the shops permanently run out of stock after a while. Once you’ve explored an island and it’s time to take on the fi nal skirmish battle, you’ll inevitably be confronted by empty shelves. Perfect timing when you’re desperate for a health potion or two. However, these are only niggles in an otherwise enjoyable and good-looking romp.

Henrietta Rowlatt