You’ve probably glanced at the images on these pages already, and are aware that there is a distinct lack of any Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 stuff in the various shots. That isn’t because we ended up playing the wrong game or anything, more like the publisher didn’t want us spoiling stuff for readers after a certain point. That’s understandable, really, as we’re sure everyone would rather save the film’s surprises – irrespective of how big or small they are, or the fact that the film’s been out a few weeks now – for when arses are parked firmly in seats. Except… given how little At World’s End follows the events of the previous film, Dead Man’s Chest, we’re not sure it would be a problem either way.

Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: The Game begins with a sort of ham-fisted recap of what occurred in the previous film, spread out over half a dozen levels or so. We see several key events that the film either glossed over or neglected to address – such as how Jack Sparrow managed to escape the nightmarish prison at the beginning of Dead Man’s Chest, and then climb into a wooden casket. It also depicts several scenes that just didn’t occur the way the game portrays them. For example, Will Turner did not steal Davy Jones’s key by sneaking onto his ship while the tentacle monster fought with Jack outside. Nor did Jack meet crazy Voodoo lady from the swamp at Port Royale, who then proceeded to give him the tub full of sand to place Jones’s heart in. If you can endure such obvious discrepancies with what really happened, that still doesn’t mean you’ll be able to abide this boring and entirely runof- the-mill videogame cash-in.

The first thing you’ll notice is how slow it all feels, not in terms of the frame rate – which does frequently take massive hits – but the atmosphere and pace of it. It sets in almost immediately and continues throughout the course of the game. It’s just slow. It’s also really quite boring, but for different reasons from the aforementioned. There’s a lot of swashbuckling combat in the game, with Jack, Will, Elizabeth and whoever else you happen to control at any point spending a long time dishing out blade fury. Unfortunately, you’ll spot a trend appear almost immediately, with most of the one on ones essentially being a case of you striking an enemy twice, waiting for them to then conveniently turn to the left, and striking a final time to take them down.

Every so often one particular enemy will appear that can only be hurt after you’ve killed a ton of other enemies and built up a sort of power meter. It’s worth mentioning here that now and then the L2 button will flash on screen, signifying that you can pull one of several finishing moves on that enemy. You hold the L2 button and press and hold any of the corresponding face buttons to unleash your finisher. It’s pretty violent stuff. The films are aimed at 12 year olds, and Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: The Game certainly follows suit. There’s no blood, but there is clear penetration – we were even a little shocked by some of it, especially when juxtaposed with the game’s apparent light heartedness.

Amid the combat there’s some fairly rudimentary platforming. Anyone who has played Tomb Raider: Legend or Anniversary should find a couple of similarities here. The difference is that those two titles do everything this game does, but much better. It isn’t all bad however, using the tilt function when walking across beams is a pretty genius idea, and one that ultimately works. Less successful are the various duel sequences you find yourself in. Basically, the game adopts a profile viewpoint of you and your opponent. Three rings on either side of the screen represent high, middle and low. When your opponent is about to attack, one will glow and you have to match it by pressing up, down or forward/backward on the left analogue stick. These don’t work, however, because the game is just too sluggish.

It’s also consistently idiotic – sometimes laughably so. After all, who knew that a pirate’s greatest enemy was water? In other words, the knee-high depths at Port Royale were enough to kill a character immediately if they fell in? Make no mistake, this is a rubbish game. It’s also amusing that, when abbreviated, At World’s End spells AWE… because that’s one thing this cash-in is seriously lacking.

Craig Gilmore