There’s a character in High Velocity Bowling called ‘Jillybean’. She’s a full-time housewife, and therefore she doesn’t have the time to indulge in fun activities such as rock climbing, midget strangling and experimenting on the obese. Jillybean, then, is reduced to playing the most banal and sociable sport available to her: bowling. As soon as this ingenious slice of characterisation came our way, we realised that the rest of the design in High Velocity Bowling would be similarly depressing.

The actual sporting side of it works pretty well, though. To control the bowling ball, the Sixaxis must be turned on its side, and swung backwards and forwards. The process of bowling the ball down the alley is divided into three processes: first, tilt the Sixaxis left or right, to line up the shot. After tapping X, the direction of the ball is determined, before the actual shot can take place. Finally, the bowl is taken with a well-timed swing of the Sixaxis, which is responsive to how fast you whip it forward.

Still, with the uninspired design and weird pin physics, this isn’t essential. As a simulation, High Velocity Bowling works fairly well, but it isn’t even fun as a party game – unless you’re keen for the guests to go home. Leave this average, dull title in the depths of the PlayStation Store. Motion-controlled bowling has already been mastered, but not on a PlayStation console, sadly.

Samuel Roberts