The Hundred Years’ War was certainly one of the better battles the English got involved in. It was far more glamorous than The Great War, which was full of muddy trenches and gout, and much less tragic than WWII, which had nuclear bombs and the Holocaust. In fact, The Hundred Years’ War bestowed us with both a valuable sense of nationhood, and an intense hatred of the French. But if the French and English armies of the mid-14th Century were as incompetent as Koei’s Bladestorm would have you believe, The Hundred Years’ War would have lasted a lot longer than a hundred years. In fact, it would probably still be raging across western France as you read this.

Bladestorm: The Hundred Years’ War wants to work like a Dynasty Warriors game dressed in real-time strategy clothing, so instead of embarking on solo heroics, your character has to engage the enemy by selecting and taking control of various units, such as archers, swordsmen and cavalry. Each unit has a basic attack – implemented by holding R1 – and three special moves, which have rather slow recovery timers so you can’t button bash your way to victory.

It all sounds simple enough. However, because you can only control one unit at a time, and because you need the help of the idiotic AI-controlled units to capture enemy forts, you either have to go back and forth across the map – painstakingly ferrying individual squads to the enemy location – or you have to follow the AI wherever it goes, which is usually in the opposite direction of your objective. Therefore, you’ll often find yourself unable to capture a fort because your computer team-mates simply wont follow you in, even though you’ve already wiped out all the enemy troops inside.

Then there are the graphics. It is understandable that Koei had to make visual compromises in order to keep a steady frame rate while vast armies rampaged across the screen, but we swear our lovely PS3 cried as it processed Bladestorm’s horrible textures, just like your girlfriend might cry if you forced her to dress up like a prostitute.

But it’s not all bad. Slaughtering armies of Frenchmen is always satisfying at a base level, and at least Bladestorm tries to put a new spin on the Dynasty Warriors franchise. It’s just a shame that Koei hasn’t given its novel concept enough depth to make you feel like there is any element of strategy lurking beneath its surface.

Christopher Reynolds