We wouldn’t be all that happy with an army of two. Think about it. The Trooping the Colour would be less than spectacular, the marching band, we suspect, would be a little lacklustre, and with the hierarchy consisting of so few, we’d imagine discipline would be pretty slack. On the plus side, we’d save over 32 billion quid per year, which would equate to a tax rebate of 500- odd pounds for every man, woman and child in the UK. We’d be happy with that. Especially if that reduced defence force was anywhere near as effective as Salem and Rios, the titular two of EA’s latest shooter franchise.

They’re raucous, uncaring killers, who pretty much dive into every situation with guns in one hand, and dicks in the other. It’s all ‘hoo-raah! and air guitar’ with these guys, and in that sense it makes for the most mindless gun-and-gun gameplay you’ll encounter this generation. This is what Army Of Two was going for though, almost without doubt, and unless you were expecting some kind of intelligent comment on terrorism and the method of war, you won’t be disappointed.

Army Of Two isn’t a careless title though. It’s not utterly bog-standard, and has a number of elements that raise it above the generic nature of the rest of the game. The things that EA has concentrated on pushing aren’t particularly special though. The prime example being the ‘Aggro’ system. Now this is something that a more subtle title would have put behind the scenes. But it is a good concept, the idea that if one member of the team is doing all the shooting, they’ll draw more attention than someone being a little quieter on the battlefield. The way Army Of Two does it is unnecessary though. There’s an ostentatious meter to tell you who’s getting shot at as well as a bizarre oily, red coating around the character drawing the most aggro. The only reason we can see for it to be so forcefully driven like this is to show that the mechanic works. It could have easily been done in a less obvious fashion, even to the point of being an AI characteristic, rather than an overt gameplay mechanic.

That aside though, it does make it clear when the aggro system is in effect. The trouble we have with it is that if you know exactly when you’re taking all the aggro, and when your partner is invisible, it takes much of the improvisation out of the gun battles, making them a good deal more staid than they might otherwise be. With such an overt system, one player simply has to blast the crap out of something in the vicinity of an enemy until the meter is full, then allow the other player to run ahead and melee kill the offending terrorists. As long as you don’t approach it with that mentality, it still works, but seems like a missed opportunity to do something really special with enemy behaviours. Those enemies have some brilliantly suited AI given the type of game and, importantly, move around cleverly, creating genuine tension and urgency.

What’s been done with the cover system is also worthy of note, with EA moving away from the popular sticky cover mechanic favoured by pretty much every shooter out there. Cover is an important aspect though, as is blind firing, but the move away from such overt mechanics offers a more compelling level of realism. But then if Army Of Two is about anything, it’s certainly not realism. If anything, we’d say it’s about murdering swathes of guys called Yousef Al Mohammed, and Mohammed Al Yousef in the name of keeping the world safe.

But murder is fun though, and with the mid-level shop catering for all your upgrade and retail-therapy needs, it’s made significantly more varied than you might think. Three types of weapon, namely primary, secondary and special, can be bought. Given that there’s two of you, who can mix and match weapons as well as swap them any time you want, the possibilities are endless. Equip one member with a gold-plated grenade launcher, Stinger missile and Desert Eagle, and you’ve got someone who’ll take an awful lot of the attention on the battlefield. Similarly, load out your character with a silenced sniper rifle, SMG and suppressed automatic machine gun and you’ll find it easier to move around the combat zone without attention. Fun. Fun and clever.

Where many of EA’s first forays into a franchise can feel a bit empty, Army Of Two is a complete game. It’s had the benefit of a couple of months of tweaking, and the result is a clean, full title that will entertain anyone looking for a mindless shooter. It, of course, has a few issues: it can get a little dull in places, the characters are entirely one-dimensional, and the whole premise is stuck between the two stools of realistic comment on modern warfare and downright silly shooter. It’s a refreshing change from the standard slew of shooters though, and at a good few billion pounds cheaper than a regular army, maybe more countries should be doing it like this.

Tom Leclerc