Have you ever sat alone, in a pair of freshly ironed pants, pondering what it is that’s missing from the otherwise boring world of entertainment? We have. Funnily enough, a game featuring the misadventures of hip-hop mumbloid 50 Cent and his G-Unit homies as they visit Third World countries with the intention of shooting international criminals in the face, never crossed our minds. Why? BECAUSE. IT’S. MAD.

The game’s predecessor, 50 Cent: Bulletproof, even though horrifically bad, still sold over a million copies. And with that kind of profit, the continuation of Fiddy’s homicidal mystery tour would seem as inevitable as death or taxes. Using Epic’s Unreal Engine 3, superficially at least, the game certainly looks the part. But while Bulletproof made some semblance of sense by keeping things firmly in the hood, Blood On The Sand is set across two countries, with Fiddy and Co involved in "high body-count gunplay" in their efforts to wreak revenge on a local drug lord who stole the take from Fiddy’s gig. The usual weapons appear, from assault rifles through to RPGs and pistols – each weapon, no doubt, to be held sideways before ‘bussin’ a cap’. And, just to ensure that the subject of international drug trafficking is treated with the appropriate level of respect, the whole shebang will bop along to the titular rap maverick’s bouncy songs of hate, death and booty.

It’s not exactly highbrow stuff, but if we can put aside for one minute the awfulness of its predecessor, the lunacy of the concept and the potential offence it’s likely to cause, the game may just about manage to salvage some potential. Because, when it comes to third-person stop-andpop gunplay on the PS3, the game is at the very least, somewhat lacking in peers. Actually, let’s not put that aside. Sorry... we can’t do this any more… pfft!