New Bayonett… oh. Darn.

There are days when our tiny souls are filled with all the joy of glee-shaped love and harmony. They don’t come along very often, but when they do it’s usually related to Bayonetta in some way, because Bayonetta is one of the best things that ever happened.

So it was with the sheer, unmitigated delight akin to a puppy with a massive stick we took to the Tweet from Hideki Kamiya, director of the original witch-basher. In 140 characters or less, Kamiya answered when we would be hearing about Bayonetta 2 with:

“This week… in a games magazine.”

Oh how the joy glands in our normally-gnarled and furious bodies perked up at that claim. Oh how we did a little jig of joy, a dance of Deuteronomy… no, wait… that makes no sense. Basically, it made us surprisingly happy. Or unsurprisingly happy, whichever way you want to look at it.

But no. Joy always fades to naught. Happiness, just like everything else, dies. IT DIES AND LEAVES US ALONE. Atsushi Inaba, you’ve broken our tiny hearts with your honesty.

Turns out Kamiya was most likely, if not almost definitely, trolling the crap out of all of us. Joking. Lying. Not telling the truth. Saying some words that don’t represent what’s actually happening. It’s over. It’s done.

No hope.

*sigh*