Battlefield 3 Graphics ‘So Bad I Died’
Shocking revelations come as a direct result of the Battlefield 3 beta. RIP, those affected.
Shocking claims from a select group of gamers across the globe have claimed a claim, claiming the graphical prowess of Battlefield 3 – as evidenced in the beta – is such a let-down it has literally killed them.
We spoke to one man who had died as a result of how obnoxiously poor the graphics are in the Battlefield 3 beta, who told us this:
“I cannae believe it, like. I mean, like, I was, like, just, like, playing the game, like. Then I saw a texture that wasn’t 15GB and suddenly my brain exploded, killing me instantly. Like.”
The internets have been literally flooded with at least some messages about the issue, with DICE’s Battlefield 3 messageboard threatening to possibly run a bit slower under the weight of the almost half a dozen complaints. It ended up not having any issues, obviously, but there was the hint of potential terror for at least (most) a millisecond.
The graphical looks imagery visuals of Battlefield 3 have been the subject of a hot debate for the last however long – year or something. Some thought the game would look better than God, oiled-up and posing seductively. Others, however, had a grip on reality and expected it to look like a console game from this generation but a bit nice. They also questioned the logic of ranting and raving about a beta not looking as amazing as they expected, rather than waiting to see what the finished game looks like.
Naturally the group speaking what some referred to as ‘sense’ were immediately lynched for their lunacy.
BREAKING NEWS: four more people have been killed as a result of noticing ‘the character models don’t look like real life’, and one coma has been reported as a result of ‘my PC isn’t powerful enough to run that’. Admittedly, the latter point is quite fair.
We put the ‘Battlefield 3 beta causes death’ claims to EA, which issued this considered response:
“Oh do fuck off.”
We’re not sure it was actually EA, but there you go. Since when have facts ever mattered?
Since this story broke, everyone involved in it has got a grip.