Top 10 Sweariest Games
Sponsored by Father Jack. Arse!
‘Tis the season to be jolly?
**** off. For some of us, Christmas is the grumpiest time of year so let’s celebrate that by recounting the sweariest videogames ever made! Feel free to chip in with your own suggestions at the end. There are so many sweary videogames nowadays, this list is bound to have missed a few…
Well… are you surprised?
9. Dead Space 2
It might not be the most profane of games out there but every time Isaac says “f***”, it seems really out of place. He doesn’t always say it with a JESUS-SOMETHING-IS-TRYING-TO-EAT-MY-FACE urgency as you might expect but tends to casually mutter it throughout, as a particularly grumpy shopper might do when seeing how long the queues are at HMV. It’s just a little too casual and that makes it stand out all the more.
8. Medal of Honor
It was sort of expected in a game that features the manliest beard ever crafted on the cover but Danger Close don’t take any chances, dropping in f***s and s***s whenever it seems like there might be more than a few seconds of silence.
7. Final Fight: Streetwise
This video sums it up pretty well. Plus it saves me having to waste more words on this travesty.
6. Mafia II
Holds the record for swearing in games, as it drops the f-bomb over 200 times throughout its duration. By f-bomb, we don’t mean ‘fart’.
5. Team Buddies
It’s fairly twee with its swearing, preferring bastards and wankers over the more ‘mature’ grunting we have today, but it stood out because there was hardly any swearing back in the PSOne days and even less so in games featuring cutesy cartoon characters. Wonder how the developers feel knowing the game was quite good but swearing has become its legacy? Hmmm.
4. Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days
If you don’t swear, you’re not a character in Kane & Lynch 2. The title duo obviously steal the show by swearing in frustration, at their enemies, at each other. It just so happens that every character they deal with happens to be potty-mouthed too and the end result is an avalanche of s***s and f***s.
3. Rogue Warrior
Draft in Mickey Rourke, stand back and watch the magic happen! “Suck my balls, my hairy f***ing big balls, wrap them around your f***ing mouth.” Alright, that’s quite enough Mickey.
2. Killzone 2
That Guerilla has had to go on record stating the swearing has been toned down from Killzone 2, an 18-rated game that should only be reaching mature ears anyway, says everything you need to know. It wasn’t that there was a lot of swearing that was the problem. It was that there was so much, it felt like it was included just because someone decided that’s what cool people do. Sigh.
1. 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand
It wins by default for having a swear button but it then awards you combo points for swearing following any kill you make. It would also win by default just for the cutscene where 50 Cent makes his explosive entrance by blowing up double doors and stepping through, shouting “knock knock motherf***er!” Genius and while you’re never sure if the humour is deliberate or accidental, it feels like a parody of 50 Cent throughout, which makes it the only game where the swearing is actually funny.