Phone Hacking Scandal Hits PlayStation, Says Nonsense Report
Key PlayStation figures targeted
It’s bigger than we thought. Not content with hacking the phones of politicians, celebrities and even the general public, it has emerged that certain British papers have been found hacking the phones of prominent PlayStation figures.
Nathan Drake was the worst hit, and scandalous accusations now surround the star. Allegedly, the face of the Uncharted series has left a series of answerphone messages admitting that he doesn’t actually like the PS3, and is much more partial to the 360 and Alan Wake.
Far worse for Drake however is that he is thought to have been caught admitting that the reason for his frequent travel isn’t that he’s a computer salesman, but is in fact a ruthless treasure hunter who has killed far more people than his good looks and chirpy demeanour would suggest.
Drake’s lawyer, a Mr Jonathan ! Braggadocio, has stated that police were investigating the claims and that said investigation would also tackle the thorny issue of just why Uncharted has multiplayer.
Cole MacGrath is also thought to have been the victim of the unlawful sting. MacGrath, star of the Infamous games, is thought to be talking with his lawyers regarding salacious rumours that he enjoys playing a good bit of Prototype every now and then. MacGrath, who recently suffered some bad press when his head was changed to look like that of a complete bellend, has declined to comment.
Play’s political correspondent Jamaal Megaton has been keeping his ear to the ground and is a bit miffed about the state of PlayStation.
“This couldn’t have come at a worse time for Sony. They’ve just gotten back on track following some breathtaking arrogance earlier in the generation, and now they’ve got this to contend with. The allegations are serious and if true it’s likely that Jerome Braithwaitewaitewaite, head of the newly formed Sony Australasianonasunnyafternoon, will soon step into fill the void left by the charismatic star.”
More as we have it. Which will be never, of course.