Mass Effect 3 Review – It’s SEO, Stupid
Want to read a Mass Effect 3 review? You’ll have to wait. Here and everywhere else.
You probably know this by now but Mass Effect 3 is coming out soon. It’s kind of a big deal.
(Unless you’re GAME, in which case it’s a something of a death kneel. You know things are bad when astronauts have a higher chance of bumping into a copy of Mass Effect 3 than GAME customers.)
The embargo for our review officially lifts Tuesday 6th March 5pm. We’ll have a review here, written by myself, with a comprehensive scanning guide as well. Won’t be much use until the game actually comes out, of course, but that’s almost besides the point. The point is SEO.
See how this blog title is Mass Effect 3 review and yet it’s not a Mass Effect 3 review? The reason it’s like that is for SEO purposes. The start of the blog title matches up with the phrases people search for in Google (“Mass Effect 3 review”), which bumps it up the Google search rankings. That’s what they teach you on day one of How To Website On The Internets school.
So we could do, say, ‘Kelly Brook naked’ as a title for a blog about Journey. But the title has no relevance to the blog and that’s the main reason it tends not to happen. It’s a blatantly transparent attempt at click-bait.
“So Ryan, why did you put Mass Effect 3 review in the headline if it’s not a Mass Effect 3 review, you massive, hairy troll.”
The reason I bring this up is it’s happening. Right now. And I at least wanted to convey how stupid, annoying and hollow a practice it is by showing it to you first-hand.
If you Google search ‘Mass Effect 3 review’ one of the highest-ranking results is ‘Mass Effect 3 review in progress’. What. WHAT. What does this even mean? That they’re reviewing Mass Effect 3. So what? It’s not the actual review. It’s a cheeky headline designed to seduce you into clicking into its cave of ambiguous chat about the game and promise of a full review down the line, which will have the actual information and opinion of value. “Click me,” it sings. “Click me! It might be a review. And what if this is a review? We talk about a review! Look, we said it in the headline and everything. Maaaass Effeeeect threeee revieeeeew ooooooh.”
Embargoes permitting, we could do blogs right now titled ‘DmC HD Collection review in progress’, ‘Silent Hill Downpour review in progress’, ‘Resident Evil Operation Raccoon City review in progress’ and so on. But all that would highlight is a desperate chase for SEO rankings. The end result of this ugly click chase are websites like the brilliantly-named masseffect3review.com website, which looks like it was knocked together by Steve during his lunchbreak using Google Image Search and Paintshop Pro.
Now that a German PC magazine has reviewed Mass Effect 3, it’s something of a field day for gaming news sites, who can have their ‘Mass Effect 3 review’ headlines without seeming too transparent about it and fair enough – the subject matter of the news story at hand at least reflects the headline.
But ‘Mass Effect 3 review in progress’? Utter bilge scraping the bottom of the SEO barrel where no-one else dares to tread. It’s such an annoying practice to witness, arguably more annoying when you’re on this side of the fence and everyone is attempting to sing from the same hymn sheet to at least deliver some shred of editorial integrity and value.
Still, on the plus side, I have these amazing pictures of Kelly Brook naked. Do you want to see?