I Am The Worst Gran Turismo 5 Player Ever
Gran Turismo 5! Oooh, ahhhh, pretty, shiny and so on. You know what Gran Turismo 5 is because you’re here reading a blog about PlayStation3, unless Google had a fit when you did a search for ‘Kelly Brook topless’ and you’ve somehow ended up here. Sorry about that. Google’s fault, blame them.
As much as I’d love to get stuck into Gran Turismo 5 though, I know I’m going to be utterly terrible at it. Not bad. Not mediocre. Not vaguely competent. But utterly, completely, insufferably terrible. So much so that I’m going to have to italicise terrible each time I say it to convey just how terrible I am at driving sims.
Personally, I don’t mind. Everyone has a weakness and driving sims are mine. Not even racing games generally, as I can do rally games and throw the arse-end of my car around corners with military precision or arcade racers, where brakes are only there to enable super-mega-ultra-lol-wtf powerslides Ridge Racer style. Just the realistic ones. I can’t do ‘em. I’ll happily be the buffoon who drives into other cars to slow for corners rather than doing something skillful like, you know, braking or something awkward like that. I don’t have the time or the skill for something like that.
I’m good at fighting games. Above average at FPS games. Pretty bad at puzzle games. Dreadful at driving sims. And almost certainly the worst Gran Turismo 5 player to stink up their online servers.
What about you?