GT5 is ruining reviews for us all
On Gran Turismo 5’s release it saw reviews highlighting negative aspects of the game. The online mode wouldn’t let you limit entries by BHP or weight, the damage modelling didn’t actually affect how cars performed and the standard selection of automovelocitrons didn’t look as good as the premium ones (apparently that’s a genuine enough criticism to knock a fair few marks off the game).
But now – or at least, soon – none of these three highlighted issues will exist. Other issues I’m failing to think of right now have probably disappeared or will do at some point in the future. Yamauchi and his team at Polyphony are doing something quite unprecedented in console gaming: bring major, game-changing patches to their game beyond its release, and I’m annoyed about this. Why? Well it’s rendering all the reviews null and void.
What has the world come to when we review a game, only to find out a week after our deadline goes, or after the words have been committed to the internet, that GT5 has been improved significantly? How are we supposed to be able to function with that? Our word is law, as you all know too well, so how do you think this makes us look when the mistakes we willingly – gleefully, in some cases – highlight are pasted over soon after splurging our wordy opinions all over the gaming public’s grinning faces?
Yamauchi, Polyphony – you have made us look like fools. Worst of all, you have made me look like a fool. I awarded GT5 a high mark, but now you’ve made it better so my original high mark looks… well, it doesn’t really change the score. But if you keep improving it I might have to request the magazine the review is printed in run a re-review so I can address the new points and re-score the game accordingly.
Actually, no. I can’t be bothered with that. Original opinions are always the most definitive, after all, and we all know that these opinions can never, ever change. NOTHING CAN EVER CHANGE THESE OPINIONS.
[Disclaimer for the purposes of the internet being full of people who don’t understand anything: this is made up of ham-fisted sarcasm. It is meant to be an attempt at humour. If you take it seriously and respond accordingly, you are an idiot.]