An alternative view of Worms
Can someone please explain why, in the last 14 years it has been necessary to release 15 ‘different’ Worms games? Okay, so there were a few 3D ones and one that was supposed to be some sort of puzzle game, but the other 11 have just been the same unfair, annoying crap over and over again, and that includes the one recently released on the PSN. It was bad enough enduring these stupid games on the PSone and PS2 but online multiplayer support only adds further to the pain.
As with any game, online multiplayer adds nothing except opportunities for people you don’t know to annoy you, and in Worms they can even start annoying you before the game starts. How? With their stupid team names. If you’re lucky you’ll escape the near-inevitable fate of facing off against some poorly spelled version of The A-Team. But even then there’s bound to be a team whose names are different words for naughty smoking materials, or a team named after a football club or, worse still, a team whose names aren’t even proper words and don’t seem to have and kind of theme binding them together at all. And worse still even than that… the default team names, the ones that have been the same for 14 unfunny years. Sorry, but are we the only ones that are just sick to death of the long-extinct in-joke that is Boggy B?
Then when the game actually starts Worms becomes an even more potent means for strangers to piss you off. They’ll start by taking advantage of the fact that, as per usual, all of your worms have been placed next to edges, mines and barrels and, by the time your turn (last, inevitably) comes around you’ll have one worm left, which has about 12 health left and is stuck in a hole that he can’t get out of. You’ll try and get him out using one of those fancy full-rotation, vertical rope moves that everyone else seems to pull off effortlessly but succeed only in wasting all of your own ropes and almost all of your own time. In a panic you shoot a bazooka into your own foot, killing your one remaining worm. Game over.
Except it’s not.
It’s not because you were stupid enough to host the game and if you quite before the remaining players are finished, their game will end and they will hate you forever. So, being a man of scruples you elect to wait until they’re finished, but end up wishing you hadn’t because it takes them over half an hour to finish the game because, like most Worms players, they’d all rather dig their worms in behind layer upon layer of girders than actually play the game using any actual weapons.
Next time, you join someone else’s game, you get off to a strong start, the host gets wiped out, he quits immediately, the game ends for everybody. Gah!