A Christmas message from Kratos
Taking some time out from his busy schedule of shouting and tearing the heads off things, Kratos has been kind enough to pass on his Christmas wishes to Play, asking us if we would in turn pass them onto our readers, his fans. We are, of course, only too happy to oblige, although we should warn you this isn’t exactly the Queen’s speech, more an unintelligible rant…
“Ten years, Santa! I have faithfully been a good little Spartan for ten years! When will you leave me a bag of chocolate coins and a Satsuma in my Christmas stocking? And if I am able to do this; to find the remote down the back of the sofa, then the TV Christmas specials: they will end? If all those on Olympus would deny me my second mince pie, then all of Olympus will not get a card from me next year. A choice from the tin of Cadbury’s Roses with only Coffee Cremes left, is as useless as the Coffee Cremes themselves. I lay down my presents Zeus, release me from the torment of not being allowed to open them ‘til after I’ve had a proper breakfast. The Gods of Christmas have abandoned me, now there is no hope! By the gods, what have I got for Christmas?”
And Kratos cast himself down the highest chimney in all of Greece.