7 Worst Bosses On PS3
The absolute worst bosses on any PlayStation 3 game. Ever. Ever. EVER.
They’re either the dramatic exclamation mark at the end of an exhausting level that leaves you exhausted and happy or they’re the reason you’ve leapt of your sofa screaming swear words with your nose pressed into the TV, if you’re not left utterly disappointed by the whole thing. Guess which category these guys fall into? Honorable mentions to: Zoran Lazarevic (Uncharted 2), Terminator Reaper Thing (Mass Effect 2) and Ceaseless Discharge (Dark Souls) – bosses which are bad but not as bad as this lot…
7. Chef Antoine (Dead Rising 2)
The saving grace here is that Chef Antoine is avoidable, lurking on the top floor of the food courts ready to throw plates at the curious and hit them in the face with frying pans. The sad thing is that a lot of players were instantly turned off by how difficult he was, ignoring Dead Rising 2′s level-up-and-come-back-later mechanic. Given Antoine was so infuriatingly, stupidly hard – he not only had the shortest stagger animation before resuming his attack when hit but also got his health back – we genuinely wonder how many players turned off in fury and never, ever came back.
6. Kraken (Marvel Ultimate Alliance)
It escapes the wrath reserved for games further down the list simply because Marvel Ultimate Alliance wasn’t that good a game to begin with. Okay, passable, tolerable, mildly enjoyable for the sheer diversity of cast but hardly a thunderous roar of quality that would leave its mark on the world. That doesn’t excuse this though, a boss fight that’s so boring, we can’t even be bothered to think up a it’s-even-more-boring-than-this-really-boring-thing analogy. The Kraken is invincible and can only be beaten by toppling four pillars on top of it. To do that, you have to stand in front of each pillar until it decides to attack you. Then you have a QTE-animation which plays four times, exactly the same, for each one. It’s also underwater so the characters are slow and it takes them ages to do anything. It’s not even a hard boss. You have to sit around for ages waiting for the same thing to happen four times. Zzzzzz.
5. Radec (Killzone 2)
You have to fight Radec and he can turn invisible and he runs away so you can’t kill him and you have to revive Rico and you have to deal with all the goons who keep respawning and sigh let’s move onto number four.
4. The Joker (Batman: Arkham Asylum)
When it was released, Batman: Arkham Asylum surprised everyone with its polish, its combat and most of all, its creativity. There were stunning ideas dripfed throughout, from the ‘game over’ screen to the hallway as little Bruce Wayne. Even the boss battles were stunning – the fight against Killer Croc was based on sound and evading him, not straight-up action, a nod to the fact that Killer Croc could crush Batman. So where did this lead? How did it end? With a straight-up fistfight between mutated Joker and Batman. Oh. It, erm… oh. Right.
3. Wesker (Resident Evil 5)
We didn’t think it was possible to loathe the sight of Capcom’s iconic villain. Resident Evil 5 seems to exist solely to prove that theory wrong. To recap: you find Wesker, he sets Jill on you and you have to fend them both off at the same time. Wesker then runs away. You catch up with him on a cruise ship, he sets Excella/Uroborus on you. Wesker runs away. You catch up with Wesker in a plane hangar, you fight him and beat him. Wesker gets in his bomber jet and flies away. You manage to stow away on his bomber jet and fight Wesker again and beat him. The bomber jet crashes into a volcano. Then you fight him again, in a volcano, knocking him into the lava and killing him. You leave in a helicopter but Wesker re-emerges for one last time, because why not, you’ve only fought him roughly 40,000 times so far.
2. Barrett (Deus Ex: Human Revolution)
Most people were pleased to see a FPS game that offered more than Call of Duty style wham-bam thrills, so it made little sense to play Deus Ex: HR the same way when it offered the alternative. Given the smart, flexible design – stealth routes were carefully carved out of each level and the balance was gently tipped in those who favoured sneaking while never demanding it – it made sense to stick to the shadows and avoid confrontation where possible. Which is why those who only had a pistol and put all their Praxis points into stealth presumably cacked themselves with fear when a cutscene threw them into an inescapable arena with bulletsponge Barrett. That Smart Vision that let you see through walls will come in handy now, eh? Later boss battles weren’t as bad, mostly because players learnt Typhoon was essentially a skip-boss-battle button. But Barrett? An ugly, unnecessary difficulty spike that contradicts the entire ethos of the game.
1. Atlas (BioShock)
See what we said about The Joker in Batman: Arkham Asylum? That. Times 400. BioShock had attempted to lift itself out of the pool of FPS cliche and mostly succeeded. Then Atlas shows up and Irrational stumbles right back in. It might be the only memorable generic thing ever created, which is almost an achievement to be applauded, thinking about it. Actually maybe that was the point. Maybe Ken Levine was talking to Irrational Artist #3 about game design to break the awkward silence when they were queueing for lunch at Subway and Irrational Artist #3 said “there’s no such thing as generic and memorable” and then Ken was like right, I’ll show him, I’m going to end the most creative FPS game this gen