Videogame characters you shouldn’t be picking a fight with

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Jon Gordon

Got a beef with one of these guys? You’re best off just walking away.

In honour of the superb light-middleweight bout between Gennaro Gattuso and Joe Jordan last night live from the San Siro we thought we would consider some of the unlikely characters in the world of videogames who you really ought to think twice about before picking a fight. Do your research and perhaps you won’t make the same mistake Gattuso made. You will not however be able to stop Aaron Lennon. That’s just not possible.

Talim (Soul Calibur Series) – She may seem timid, but her speed and those sharp blades make Talim deadly. The biggest issue though is having her stop long enough to hit her, which very rarely happens. The other issue? Lateral movement. For some reason hitting something in 3 dimensions is tricky.

Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim Vs The World) – An unassuming geek bass player at first glance, Scott Pilgrim is actually a master fighter, legend of Toronto, hero of the downtrodden. His air juggle combos strike fear into the hearts of evil-exes everywhere and he does it all through the careful diet of energy drinks with just the right HP and XP increases.

Noby Noby Boy (Noby Noby Boy) – Cute and colourful, Noby Noby Boy is actually a killer in disguise. His long and malleable body makes him a crawling rope with which to strangle an crush you. Fall into his grasp and there may be no escape for you. He’ll do whatever it takes for his girl.

The Prince (Katamari Series) – Probably the smallest of the characters in this this, but actually the most powerful by far. Thanks to the Prince’s katamari rolling skills it is within his power to ‘roll up’ the entire solar system! Why would you risk that just to punch him in the face? You selfish so and so.

Kai (Heavenly Sword) – Probably mad, certainly hyperactive, Kai seems like she needs a lot of protection and looking after. you might think you could pinch her lunch money with ease. Sorry to say that’s just not going to happen. Her fancy crossbow bazooka thing would have you pinned to a tree before you could lift a finger.