Top 6 Weirdest Vita Games
We love the Vita, and its eclectic library of great games is one of the reasons why. Between some obscure indie gems and strange Japanese oddities, there are some very weird games on Sony’s handheld…
Monster Monpiece is a card battling RPG starring various magical girls coming to Europe later this year. The game is infamous for one feature in particular. In order to unlock the full power of these magical girls, the player must grip the Vita firmly before… rubbing both sides of it up and down, fiercely, to remove the girl’s clothes and unleash their full potential. That’s right, Monster Monpiece makes you //WANK OFF YOUR VITA// to strip naked girls of questionable age and character. Not only is the game coming to UK shores, it only warranted a PEGI 12 rating, bizarre compared to the 17+ and M ratings it received in Japan and the US. Maybe PEGI don’t care much about masturbating your games consoles?
DANGANRONPA: TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC
Danganronpa is a game where a bunch of genius high-school students get trapped in a deadly version of their school by an evil, talking teddy bear – and that’s just the first five minutes. A lot of weird stuff happens ot a lot of weird people in Danganronpa, from the biker gang leader with a physics-defying pompadour hairdo to the upstanding citizen who is so obsessed with justice that he demands punishment whenever making a mistake. It’s a great game, and the surreal tone and crazy story beats help create a unique personality and one of the best stories on the Vita.
DECEPTION IV: BLOOD TIES
Arguably the world’s only “trap-em-up” franchise, the Deception series has been providing strange strategy RPG fun for almost a decade now. The player is near defenceless themselves, and must run around their castle placing traps to lure enemies into rather than attacking them head-on. The weird part applies when you start experimenting with some of the more bizarre traps, especially those in the “humiliation” category. While things can get pretty gory, there is also a huge amount of slapstick humour, with traps like rolling boulders, electrocution, spring boards, spiked walls, human cannons, falling bathtubs, banana peels, runaway trains and iron horses with pointy saddles. It’s a strange one.
AKIBA’S TRIP: UNDEAD AND UNDRESSED
You might be able to guess why this one is here from the title. Bloodsucking demons have taken over the Tokyo district of Akihabara and, entirely coincidentally, they have all taken the form of attractive women! To defeat these demons, the player must strip their clothes and expose them to sunlight. Needless to say, Germaine Greer probably won’t be endorsing Akiba’s Trip any time soon. It’s not legitimate pornography, but the fact it’s getting localized into English is still rather surprising. The game also features a bunch of real-world Akihabara locations, because obviously that’s what you’ll be paying attention to.
CONCEPTION 2: CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN STARS
Conception 2 is a turn-based RPG with a bizarre mechanic for creating party members. Your character attends the “Star God Academy”, and must produce “Star Children” to battle evil by… “classmating” with your female friends, hence the “conception” of the title. This “classmating” isn’t as dirty as it sounds, with both participants touching one another before transferring their energies to a special doll to create the “Star Child.” There’s a bit of panting and moaning, but that’s about as dirty as it gets. Still, it’s bloody weird, and the intention is clearly there. Maybe not one to play around your significant other.
Doki-Doki Universe starts with a robot named QT3 and a talking red balloon accidentally being left on an asteroid by a space-faring human family. Forty years later the pair are discovered by Alien Jeff, who takes them to a planet called Home. The whole game is a personality test of sorts to determine whether QT3 possesses humanity, but in reality it’s your personality that is getting a good once-over. With a whimsical, cartoony artstyle and a bunch of unique NPCs to learn about and try to befriend, Doki-Doki Universe is a fun, weird time that also lets you fly through space on a piece of poo.