Top 5 slapheads
The five best bald men in games.
He wasn’t always bald. In Killzone Liberation, Visari has a fine head of spiky blonde hair. But by the time Killzone 2 comes around his head is as smooth and shiny as a freshly laid egg. At the end he kills himself just to ensure that no one ever slaps his big, shiny head again.
Command & Conquer
Like a lot of baldies, Kane tried to compensate for his slapheadedness by growing a rubbish little beard, but it only makes it more obvious. We shouldn’t be mean though, perhaps if he hadn’t have been teased about his waxy bonce, Kane wouldn’t have got such a megalomaniacal chip on his shoulder.
You’d think Agent 47’s baldness would be a hindrance in his profession. It makes him stand out, especially when it’s sunny and the light glints off his perfectly smooth, hairless skull. Plus his barcode is showing, which is a dead giveaway. But he’s a clone, and apparently hair can’t be cloned.
The great things about Sagat, as well as fellow slaphead Dhalsim of course, is that you can play against him as E. Honda and use the Hundred Hand Slap move to give his big, glistening cranium the incredible thorough slapping it deserves.
God Of War
Of all the heads in games, Kratos’ is the one we’d like to slap most. And hardest. Can you imagine how much angrier he’d get if you snuck up on him and just gave that big, grey noggin of his a great big ‘SLAP!’ right on the top? It would be the absolute angriest any man has ever been!