Top 5 sexist characters in games

What’s wrong with being sexy? Nothing, of course. But being sexist… now, that’s bad. We all know that games, by and large, do tend to be a bit sexist, what with being targeted at confused adolescent males an’ all. But what of the sexism of characters within games themselves? No one’s done a Top 5 sexist characters before, so I’ve put myself in raging feminist mode and come up with a list of the five most sexistist characters ever…

5.
Nathan Drake
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
By making lewd comments regarding Chloe’s sweet, sweet ass every time he gives her a leg-up, Drake is objectifying her. In particular he’s objectifying her tight, perfectly round, peachy bottom. What a pig.

4.
50 Cent
50 Cent: Blood On The Sand
Every woman 50 Cent meets in this game he calls a ‘bitch’, even if they’re trying to be nice to him, which is sexist. He even calls some of the men bitches after he kills them, which is even more sexist. Fiddy, you in da sexist club.

3.
Ezio Auditore da Firenze
Assassin’s Creed II
Eurgh! This is a man who considers women to be nothing more than vaginas and vaginas nothing more than ‘outlets’. The 15th Century is soooooo sexist. It should be confined to history forever.

2.
Paco Mendez
Heavy Rain
Few things are more sexist than forcing a woman to take her clothes off at gunpoint. It might even be worse than paying her to do it. Mendez is a sexist pig and I got no enjoyment at all from making Madison strip off for him, revealing her pert, perky, smooth jubblies in all their steamy glory. So it was especially frustrating when I accidentally dropped my controller on the floor, triggering an action that I did not intend, forcing me to replay the whole sordid encounter for a second time. Yuk!

1.
Dallas Wyatt
Valkyria Chronicles
Proving that sexism is not the exclusive domain of men – if it were, that would in itself be disgustingly sexist – Dallas Wyatt is Valkyria Chronicles’ man-hating lesbian. She hates men so much that she fights notably worse alongside them than alongside women. Unlike Mendez she can’t even claim she’s not sexist and was just having a bit of fun either – her sexism is written right there on her character profile. Shame on you, Dallas.